Real Self Esteem Stories
Everyone really is beautiful on the inside
This isn't any story that's going to change anybody’s. It probably won't even end up being that long. I'll just say a few things that I think I need to say. My name is *Suey* and I am an older sister to two younger sisters and a younger sister to a brother who is two years older than I. We all get along rather well, with our occasional girl fights that are of course expected. (We are girls you know).
My mom is my best friend. Her mom passed away my freshman year in high school. So I’ll try to get back on track to this self-esteem topic. Ever since I was little, I’ve never really known what to 'classify' myself as. I had many friends I thought. I hung out with the cooler kids in kindergarten and first grade. My best friend was a boy, so I had that over all my friends who still thought they had cuties. I then moved to a different school in second grade and made friends with the two prettiest girls I met. I didn't become friends with them just because they were pretty. If you knew me, you'd never expect that I would. I was a friend with them because they were into the same stuff I was into.
Girl scouts, cheerleading, volleyball, boys, etc. Right before my second grade year ended, before me and my two best friends got a chance to tryout for the talent show (that we were guaranteed to win) one of them moved. Not just moved but she moved to like Texas or something crazy like that. To move from Texas when in Indiana is a HUGE deal especially when only in second grade. So it was down to the two of us. That next year both of us plus one more new friend who could dance really good, made it into the talent show and it was a blast. Ha-ha yes, this was all in second and third grade.
Then redistricting started to happen. The new one in the group got redistricted and my old best bud moved to a different town in Indiana. I had other friends of course. I didn't limit myself to only these few girls. So I was perfectly fine on that factor. In the third grade after my friends were gone, I had developed the name tattle tail. Now who here likes that name? I don't know why I did, and whenever I didn't, I felt like a rebel. haa what a cool kid huh? But I hung in there. I fixed myself. Stopped telling on other kids and started being in on the jokes more and more. Before I knew it, I was a friend with almost everyone. Well that is everyone that wasn't someone. Everyone that was average. I wouldn't be a friend with the extremely quiet. I didn't even bother talking to them much. Not in a mean way. Just in a 'I didn't really know you were there' kind of way. Still not a good way. I wouldn't really talk to the 'popular' girls in horror that they would take me in and just use me to have someone to laugh at.
Turns out that elementary school popular kids are way off from high school popular kids. In the fourth and fifth grade I developed a health issue and had to get emptied out. In sixth grade I weighed somewhere around 68 lbs. only SIXTY-EIGHT. I was really skinny. My only goal then was to be fat. I wanted to be fat because I was TOO skinny. Believe it, I said it. I was still rather skinny in seventh grade and most of eight grades. Until one day an old friend of mine (who ditched me and a few other girls to become one of the 'popular' ones by doing 'bad' stuff) came up to me and said " hey suey, I was just talking to my mom the other day about you, and she said that you weren't as skinny as you used to be and that you actually have fat to you now, and I told her, duh mom. I'm not stupid, I see her everyday.' haa not the best comment for a child to receive eh? After that I was still completely fine with the fact that I actually looked human now. Actually for a couple years. Until recently. My sophomore year is here. I'm halfway thought the school year and all of a sudden I can’t stop feeling fat.
Everyday.im working on it though. I don't technically feel fat. I just feel WAY bigger than what I used to be. What Jim 'supposed' to be? I have a lot more friends now. Jim FOR SURE not a tattle tail. And lots of people trust me on my opinion, what I have to say, and they also trust me with what they have to say. I love my friends. Every single one of them. That’s over 300 sport girls alone. I now force myself not to judge. Everyone really is beautiful on the inside. All but this one girl who is the only person in the world I talk bad about. I'm friends with people I would've never been friends with in elementary school. I'm friends with people that I wouldn't even think about being friends with last year because I still judged a little.
I think society had ruptured our brains with these false icons. They make us feel that we have to act, look, and think the same way they do. But they don't know us!! We don't have the money they do to get all of there 'fun' plastic surgeries or for their health shakes. Life isn’t fair honey. And you know what. If our ancestors learned how to live with it, I think we must do the same. Except it’s probably much easier for us to do so now because we have all these fancy electronic devices.
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