Bulimia

How I healed my self esteem and kicked my 10 year bulimia struggle...

My bulimia was at a critical point. I was bingeing and purging 15+ times a day... I was spending $20,000 a year on food at the university cafeteria. My teeth were rotting away and my heartbeat was irregular...

Bulimia was killing me - 10 years of this illness was taking it's toll... both physically and in spirit. Bulimia had come into my life as a means of trying to lose weight and gain control - a way to improve my self-image - but it had done exactly the opposite... My self esteem was worse than ever. I felt as though I was scum of the earth... I felt like a revolting criminal... I felt ugly, fat and wasteful.

I knew that I didn't want to live the rest of my life in the dark world of bulimia... I knew that I had to do something about it... But what?. I had tried to stop bingeing and purging a hundred times on my own - and I had never lasted more than a few hours. So, what was I doing wrong?

Treating the symptoms of Bulimia - Not the Cause...

I began reading all I could about bulimia. Desperately trying to find the answer to my recovery. Surely, somewhere I would find a cure for this terrible illness. And then I read something which struck a chord in my brain...

It said that bulimia is a disorder of the mind, a disorder of self-esteem and of emotions... Bingeing and purging is only a side effect of the disordered mind. All those years I thought the reason that I binged and purged was because I was crazy, I had no self control... I hated myself for it...All those recovery attempts - I'd only focussed on the bingeing and purging... I had an 'ah-ha' moment... That's where I'd been going wrong.

The Steps I Took To Heal My Disordered Self-Esteem and Emotions

I didn't know how to change the way I thought... How to tap deep into my sub-conscious mind to change it... But I knew I had to learn...Fast Forward 1 year - and I was finally completely, 100% recovered from bulimia. Changing my sub-conscious disordered mind was the key to beating my bulimia. Here are some of the steps I took to make those changes...

Step 1: Release your Shame

When I was suffering from bulimia - I felt so ashamed of my illness. I felt that hiding it was the most important thing. I knew that I needed to share my story to help release the shame... I didn't feel comfortable sharing with somebody I knew, so I went to a counsellor. Her comments and reactions made me realize that I wasn't alone... and I wasn't a freak!.

If you're not up to sharing your bulimia story with someone you know, there is a less daunting alternative. You can share your story on my bulimia recovery website. People tell me that sharing their story and reading others makes them feel less alone. To share your bulimia story, click here

Step 2: A Positive Mind Isn't a Bulimic Mind...

To recover from bulimia I knew I needed to become more positive. Not just on the surface - but throughout my entire being. I knew that a positive and optimistic mind would be much less likely to fall prey to bulimia. How can you change the deep areas of your mind from negative to positive? From pessimistic to optimistic?.

There are a number of ways to do this... But, one that I strongly recommend is 'restructuring'...Restructure everything in your life so that it's based on the positive... Restructure your sentences, conversations and goals so that they're based on positivity. For example... Instead of saying "Today I will not binge and purge" say "Today I will enjoy 3 healthy and delicious meals along with 3 small tasty snacks" Doesn't that sound so much nicer?. Use positive words like: enjoy, love, happy, beautiful, confident and so on...

Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself and positive about the world... These type of people influence your sub-conscious mind in amazing and very important ways. If you catch yourself being negative at any stage throughout the day repeat to yourself "Is this negativity helping me? NO! Can I be positive?. YES!". Then, put your ipod on with some of your favorite music to snap yourself out of the mood.

Step 3: Gratitude Lists

During my recovery - every morning when I woke up I would think of all the things that I was truly grateful for. I'd try to list at least 10. If you can't think of 10 things - then look outside the box... Is it a sunny day?. Be grateful for the warm sunshine! Is it raining? Be grateful for the rain that cleans the earth!.

Pull out your gratitude list throughout the day and ready through it... Stopping at each different point and really focussing on it... Thinking it though and reinforcing how blessed you are to have it. This step might sound strange - but it will help to change your mind on that sub-conscious level that I was talking about!.

Changing your mind on a sub-conscious level is the ONLY way to beat bulimia...

I truly believe that everyone who has ever recovered from bulimia - including myself - has done so because they changed their mind on a sub-conscious level. We managed to 're-wire' our brains to no longer have disordered feelings that make us binge and purge. Recently I read "Karen Phillips Anorexia and Bulimia Positive Energy Treatment". I was amazed at how this program was based on everything I used to recover... I wish I'd had it on hand when I was looking for a bulimia cure - it would have made my recovery much easier.

To read my review of Karen's bulimia self help program, click here.

Bulimia Free For 5 years!

It has been 5 years since I recovered from bulimia... and what an amazing 5 years it's been! To be able to live without being ruled by bingeing and purging is incredible!. I will never take a normal relationship with food for granted. Please remember that YOU can beat bulimia! You can be healthy, happy, vibrant and FREE!.

I am living proof. If I did it - you can too.

Stay strong.

Shaye.
http://www.your-bulimia-recovery.com