Happiness and Self Esteem
by Carla Valencia
So, what most people are pursuing today is some form of property or possession. This can lead to increased health, wealth, or joy. Depending on what it is that's pursued and if it is attained. But people have confused "joy" with "happiness". This confusion has led to pain and suffering. The writers of the U.S. Constitution did not think of "happiness" as "joy". Joy has to do with increased emotions, and we all should be seeking or have joy-filled lives.
But "happiness" is actually not so directly tied in with emotions at all, is an attitude. It is related to the word "happenstance", which means "chance", or random circumstances. In other words, if you are "happy", you accept things as they come and deal with them on that basis, whether they are good or bad. You don't get attached to the joyful times, and you don't just sit down and cry "poor pitiful me!" during the bad times.
Happiness is a state of being. It's much like the "satori" of the Eastern Zen masters of Japan. If your life in general is a happy one, you may still feel sad, angry, bitter, heartbroken, frustrated, and even hateful. You may still be or get sick, hurt, or injured. You may still have financial or relationship problems. But, you are detached from these things. They are real, you really feel them, they really matter. But there's always a part of you that is just observing them, and if you are self-aware of this observance. This part of you is untouchable, and being untouchable it is supremely confident and also supremely realistic.
So, perhaps we should re-conceptualize "happiness" as "bliss in action". And, this attitude is something that you must choose to cultivate in your life. Self Esteem and happiness are strongly correlated, and increasing happiness will increase self-esteem, which can enable you to overcome obstacles, crush problems, and find that life of joy and success. But too many people put conditions : "I will be happy when…"
"We are unhappy because we no longer have our self esteem. We are unhappy, because we no longer believe we are a special miracle, a special creation of God. We have lost faith in ourselves". Og Mandino.From my own experience I have found that happiness comes from inside. Is not something that comes to you, is something that you create. It is an attitude, is not what happens to you, is how you choose to react to what happens. When you feel good about yourself you naturally adopt a positive attitude that increases self esteem. Lack of self-love and self-respect will make you truly unhappy.
How do you cultivate happiness to increase your esteem?
- Take care of yourself. Start building self-esteem . To do this, start by noticing and getting rid of your negative internal dialogue.Stop Negative Thoughts . Check the Self Esteem Booster.
- Be grateful. To him who has, even more shall be added. An attitude of gratitude brings you more things to be grateful about. Start by noticing all that you have to be grateful for right now, and over time watch this list build. This attitudeis one of the best ways for building self-esteem.
- Express your creativity. So many people are miserable because they have suppressed their creative side. Not all people are gifted artists by any means, but all people have some way in which they can be personally, uniquely creative . Try Creativity Booster
- Inspirational readings. Find books written by people who have been through the fire of suffering and come out victorious . Read spiritual writings like Proverbs or Zen stories or translated Sanskrit scriptures
- Do something good for someone. Not only does this help another and give you a sense of pride in helping them, it also sends you subconscious mind the signal that you, too, deserve for people to be good to you
- Choose to be happy. Affirm to yourself, "No matter what comes my way, I can handle it. If it's good I can make use of it; if it's bad, I can overcome it."
“ Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be, and paving the way to be happy by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long-run”.
David Leonhardt
Recommended resouces:
- Inifnite Joy Now. About 35% of the statements are "Releasing" statements, phrases that teach your mind to trust and believe that you have let go of, have been forgiven for and have forgiven others a lot of crap... all the crap that is poisoning your mind and feeding the beliefs and attitudes that keep you from enjoying every minute of every day to the fullest. You will be deeply instilled new beliefs. You can listen in the car, while exercising, or while doing any other activity, even while you sleep! .
