Real Self Esteem Stories

I am me, and no one can take that away

I'm fourteen. Don't stop reading this because I am young, trust me I know a lot more than you think. In this story I am just going to tell you about my life. I won't lable it as lonely or sad, even if it may appear as though it actually is, because I have learned that in my short life so far that I will always have myself, no matter what God throws at me. Does God even exist?. I don't know. Does it really matter?. I should stop rambling and get on with it, right?. Right.

Its going to be long, so hang in there. I have to tell someone . . . Well the first major event happened on March 13, 2009 when I was twelve at the time. The doctors found seven blood clots in my fathers lungs, and two in his right leg. I didn't know how to react, would he die? Would I lose someone who was so close in my life?. I cried a bit with my sister, Kate, but other than that i tried to hide my emotions the whole time he was laying on that white colored hospital bed, shedding tears only when I was alone.

But he lived, miraculously, and is now better than ever. Well, maybe.The next event happened just four months later. My mother had a rare disease, that doesn't even have a name, where she passes out because she has hyper sensitive hearing and smelling. She passed out at least twenty times a day. That was emotional. I was home alone with her one day, when she passed out in my arms. I was still twelve, how was I supposed to deal with something like that?. My mother, the person who was always strong when no one else was, was in my arms and i was crying. When she awoke she had a panic attack, and I had to assure her that everything was going to be okay, when I couldn't even tell myself that. Along this time I considered suicide.

I was only twelve . . .When my mother didn't pass out as much, I started to feel a little better. That is until I found out my brother, John, was doing drugs. I loved him. I loved him so damn much, and he let me down when I needed him most. I tried telling my parents, but they didn't believe me. How could they not?!. I had so much proof!. It was then that I decided the only reason to live was because of Kate, my sister.

Then she let me down. When I just turned fourteen, Kate got herself a boyfriend. I liked the guy at first, but then she came in crying. He didn't abuse her or anything like that, he just became clingy. So obviously, the option is to dump him right? Wrong. My sister was too weak to do anything about it, so she started to cut herself. That was not something to cut yourself about. She made everyone in the house worry about her, but she continued to see her boyfriend.

She didn't even care about how much Mom cried over this, the just said that it was her life and that everyone else should just butt out of it. A few weeks later she called me a bitch, and said that i was selfish. I lost all respect for her that moment. Now, we are losing our house. Foreclosure. And we are moving somewhere Ihate with a passion. The last thing about my former, stable life is being snatched away from me and I can do nothing about it. So, here I am, wondering why I have still chosen to live when Ii realize that i live for me. Everyone else will let me down, but I promise I will never let myself down.

I am alone, the only one i truly trust being my dog, but that's okay because even though i am depressed, I'm happy at the same time. Just knowing that i can conquer whatever life, or this supposed 'God' , throws at me, makes me smile. I am me, and no one can take that away. Veda.

Read Self Esteem stories | Send your Self Esteem Story | Questions and feedback