Self confidence | Confidence building | Overcoming shyness | Handling fear of rejection | Perfectionism

Handling insecurity

by Carla Valencia

When you experience feelings of insecurity your tendency is to believe that you are never good enough. Insecurity leads you to believe that you are incompetent and helpless to face problems in life.

Reasons for insecurity

People with insecurity issues have:

• Relationships problems because you feel insecure
• Lack of self confidence when socializing
• Fear to learn new skills
• Fear of physical appearance and so on.

The dictionary defines insecurity as lack of self confidence and doubtful. Some of the causes that create insecurity issues are fear of rejection and a sense of being unaccepted.

Think about the real causes of your insecurities and you will end up with the same answer: - appreciated, wanted and accepted.

The negative consequences of insecurities are

• To become a victim.
• Have a defensive attitude
• Difficulty making relationships and hiding your feelings
• Shyness

How can insecurity issues be overcome?

In order to overcome insecurity, you need to:

• Become aware that you are feeling insecurity.
• Confront the problems instead of try to avoid your feelings . Ask for help if you need it, you have to improve your confidence and stop feeling insecure
• Improve your image. Stop being a perfectionist because this is the main reason for not feeling good enough and unworthy.
• Work with your inner talk to change your beliefs that you are not good enough, a failure, incompetent and so on. A positive inner talk helps to build your confidence and esteem.
• Take risks and be willing to fail and get hurt. Confront your fears. Practice assertive behavior to ask for what you want and you need. Reward yourself for what you have done right.
• If shyness is one of your problems, confront it and overcome it. Read my article about overcoming shyness.
• Perhaps you feel insecure because you are lacking skills. Learn the skills to feel more confidence in the situation and solve the problems.

Another root of insecurity issues is attachment. As Deepak Chopra says:

Relinquish your rigid attachment to a specific result and live in the wisdom of uncertainty. Attachment is based on fear and insecurity, while detachment is based on the unquestioning belief in the power of your true Self. Enjoy every moment of your life, even if you don’t know the outcome.

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