Self Esteem Vs. Self-Respect Article
At the core of true identity is how a person sees his own being. Apart from others’ assessments, the ultimate determinant of self-worth is an individual’s mindset, including the actions that help make up that mindset. In this modern world however, too much emphasis has been placed on the positive or negative evaluation of one’s self. This encompasses perceptions and emotions that relate to the overall appraisal of the self. However, this has been confused with one’s acceptance of personal capabilities and flaws.
Now the issue: self-esteem vs. self-respect. Is there any significant difference between these two?. Crucial in understanding a person’s view of one’s self is the marked difference between these ideologies. Esteem gives a high regard for one’s self, which may inevitably evolve to the extent of vanity. A common example is the statement, “I am the best”, or the line, “I am born to be a winner”. How one thinks sets forth the standard, which can lead to an excessive gaze at one’s self with undue care. Worst is when such standard leads to inappropriate actions from the bigger community’s standpoint.
To define this better is to look at the process that builds it. There is always a measure of standard which, when unattained, causes self-pity and dismay. Standards are normally set beforehand, either from someone admired of or from the ideals one places on one’s self, disregarding personal capabilities. What we feel with ourselves is the springboard. Feeling confident of being more than, if not just capable in life, is the major sign.
Self respect on the other hand, is the deemed proper sense of personal worth anchored on integrity and dignity. It takes a deeper look at what a person is and what a person is not. It is based on actions which spring forth from one’s values and attitudes. A better substitute will be “If I have to be rewarded as the best, then I ought to focus on goals that are reasonable and realistic, for me to be able to give my best”. Or perhaps, this line fits better- “If I have to win, then, I must perform well with my abilities and skills”.
Self-respect means to accept the fact that failures come and go and that nobody is invincible enough to resist defeats and disappointments in life. This healthy ground makes possible continuous “liking” of one’s self regardless of circumstances. To promote one’s self is still present, but is consciously done with ethical considerations. Standards are external-no emotion can erode any accomplishment or behavior. More importantly, it is not just about thinking, rather, it is about an ongoing walk with what is talked about.
The danger with too much regard for one’s self is this. Because it is built with the mind’s creativity, the same creativity may rob this from you. Further, too much of anything makes anyone drift from actuality. To base anything from mere personal reality is deadly. Or worse, it sets wrong moves, even sacrificing respect for others and for one’s self.
Which is better?. Esteem is needed at a certain level; self-respect must always be present. Self-esteem, self-respect: they must co-exist. Reality must bring ideals to work. To walk the talk is a must; otherwise, everything ends as perfect illusion.
