Article by Carla Valencia

Dependency can take on several meanings but, generally, refers to the strong attachment felt toward a certain thing or person, and if such thing or person is removed, the dependent person would cease to function normally.

Dependency is a dysfunctional behavior people develop because of feelings of unworthiness. It might be as a child, parents always criticized severely, which led the child to believe that he or she is not capable of achieving something worthwhile. These feelings of guilt and inferiority are expressed in one's dealings with others as in codependency.

In codependency, because people are always faced with the fear of abandonment, they become eager to please others in their own expense. They tend to think that they have to always put their best foot forward and consent to whatever it is that their loved one wants to make the relationship work. They abandon their own interest to ensure that their relationship remains intact. Being dependent can also be caused by the lack of resources to become autonomous such as financial dependency. This is one of the causes why partners are unable to leave an abusive relationship.

If you are unhealthy dependent, here are four tips on how you can decrease such feelings:

1. Change your beliefs. Think that you are worth something. Bank on your positive qualities and have the conviction to change a life-long belief of always not being able to live up to other's expectations. Need help? A true innovation in the field of thought & habit modification.
2. Practice assertiveness.
3. Be financially independent. Find what it is that you are good at doing and make this into a profitable endeavor. You can find a job or open up your own business. Never put yourself in a situation which encourage being dependent. More information The Wealthy Barber
4. Building your self-esteem. Know that you can do it. If you were always told to be inadequate, tell yourself that you are worth something. Love yourself and find what is good in you. You can enroll in personal development classes or read self-help books.

Breaking the habit of dependency needs one to take a strong stand on the matter. Find your self-worth and know that it is only you that have the ability to put yourself down.

"Self-actualized people are independent of the good opinion of others". Wayne Dyer.

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All best wishes ,

Carla Valencia

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