dealing with shame can be difficult because is a painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt and embarrassment.

Dealing with shame can be difficult. Shame is a painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment or unworthiness. It is an expression of low self-esteem . We judge ourselves by impossible standards. This creates the belief that we are not good enough. People with shame tend to put other's needs above their own that is because is so difficult to deal with shame.

During Christmas people struggle a lot with a sense of obligation and also financially. This creates feelings of embarrassment.

Start building your esteem . Try the following steps to deal with shame:

• Make a list of the presents and create a budget of each gift. Stick to your list and deal with the budget. This will make you feel confident and proud of you.


• Think of the reasons for giving the gifts and deal with it. Are you giving because you really want?. Are you giving out of a sense of obligation?. If you do not want to give a gift, don’t do it, you will feel good .


• When you are buying the gift become aware of your feelings and emotions and your inner talk . Are you trying to buy things you cannot afford?. Are you angry because you cannot buy something?. Do embarrassment or guilt is coming out? And so on. Trust your instincts and stick to them. Don't betray yourself .


• Affirmations are a great tool to deal with shame and create positive thoughts. Use affirmations to overcome any struggle you are going through while doing your Christmas shopping.

In Healing the shame that Binds You John Bradshaw says:

“Abuse creates toxic shame - the feeling of being flawed and diminished and never measuring up. With toxic shame there's something wrong with you and there's nothing you can do ; you are inadequate and defective. Toxic shame is the core of the wounded child.”

For more ideas to deal with shame:

Care Less What Others Think Care less about what other people think and more honest and decent, you don't have to pretend so much. To be a truly independent and a confident person you need to start being more self-directed.

No Embarrassment Embarrassment prevents you from acting naturally. The feeling that we are no good and what we have to say isn't worth saying. Where you're embarrassed you feel clumsy and foolish.

Stressful Christmas . Firstly there's the preparation, the shopping in frenzied, crowded stores people pushing and shoving and you worrying whether so and so will like the present you've bought them. Then there's the cooking and organizing. Of course the financial strain that the extra cost of Christmas entails. Many of us get seriously in debt after the holiday. But the biggest stress comes from the very essence of what is supposed to be all about , other people. This session will relax you deeply and prepare your mind to feel chilled and calm . You'll find yourself feeling more relaxed during the holiday season and actually enjoying it.

“Pride attaches undue importance to the superiority of one's status in the eyes of others. Shame is fear of humiliation at one's inferior status in the estimation of others. When one sets his heart on being highly esteemed, and achieves such rating, then he is automatically involved in fear of losing his status.” Lao Tzu quote.