Real Self Esteem Stories

Running for my Life

How many of us truly like ourselves, no matter what happens to us and regardless of what anyone else thinks of us? There is no easy answer when it comes to how we feel about ourselves. The development of self esteem is an issue for everyone. Some have a smoother ride than others but everyone's self worth is questioned at some time or another.

Some people, like myself, have had a daily battle with it. My low self esteem has gradually over time developed an unpleasant aspect to it. I have come to realize in recent years that I have Body Dysmorphic Disorder and have had it since my early teens, perhaps earlier. I didn't always know that this was what it was, or understand what was wrong with my perceptions. At times I have felt like I was going mad.

My brain distorts my appearance and exaggerates perceived defects. It's believed to be related to OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and has some similar traits, like 'double checking'. The anxiety that comes with it can be close to panic on a bad day.However, having said that, I'm older and wiser now, the bad days are few and far between and I'm managing much better. Having an understanding of how self esteem works and where it 'sits within us' opens up a whole world of possibilities. We can help ourselves to come to realize how important and individual we all are.

Relationships and events from childhood onwards shape us and can really knock us off kilter. We are taught to believe things about ourselves which simply aren't true. The development of healthy self esteem makes it possible to achieve true personal power. With true personal power, we are in charge of the direction our lives take, the boundaries we set, how we face our fears and how we allow ourselves to be treated.On the quest to improve my life and how I felt about myself, I chanced upon a book which asked the question, "If there is one thing you could do each day that would improve your relationship with yourself, what would it be?" (Question taken from Stand Up For Your Life, by Cheryl Richardson).

Immediately I knew it was exercise. I do feel better and happier when I exercise, but asking the question in this way caused a shift in me. The question became solely about self worth and personal power. The answer to this question becomes a gift to yourself; a chance to have a better relationship with yourself. In a moment of clarity, I remembered the first time I took part in a charity run. It was Race for Life for Cancer Research. I had never attempted anything like it before and didn't know if I would be able to run all of it. The atmosphere was amazing and with a mixture of nervousness and excitement I ended up running all the way. During the last five minutes, the heavens opened and I crossed the finish line through a torrential downpour! The rain had washed every scrap of make up from my face.

I was wet and bedraggled and couldn't see where I was going, but felt completely elated. This powerful feeling was bigger than me. My self esteem soared. I will never forget how incredible I felt in front of hundreds of cheering, clapping people, even when I looked a complete mess! This was a major turning point for me.My little girl was transformed. Seeing her face bursting with pride and inspiration filled me up with joy. Finally, I felt like a good role model for my daughter. Her mother looked confident and brimming with happiness. The inner 'glow' stayed with me for some time, so this just had to be a good strategy for continuing to build my self esteem and battling dysmorphia. The 'feel good' factor was physical too. As well as feeling a sense of achievement, exercising naturally produces hormones that positively affect how we deal with daily stress, in addition to helping to fend off depression.

The Solar Plexus Chakra. The chakras are energy centers within the body through which our energy flows. Blocked centers can lead to emotional problems and illness. These chakras hold all the information about ourselves and how we perceive the world. Problems like low self worth reflect an imbalance in the solar plexus chakra, the yellow energy centre below the breast bone which is the seat of our will and personal power. The solar plexus chakra has information stored within it concerning the personality, the consciousness of self within the Universe, knowing, a sense of belonging and personal power. One of the main emotional issues of this chakra is the development of self esteem as a path to true personal power.

The characteristics of a blocked solar plexus chakra also describe low self esteem. There may be a need for constant reassurance, a fear of being alone, concerns with what others think and endless insecurities.The ultimate goal is self acceptance; to feel good enough about ourselves and like whom we are enough, for it to act as a kind of protective coat against damaging self criticism and the criticism of others.

Having a strong, functional solar plexus chakra means that you have reached a place where you can feel powerful and loved. Even when criticized, you can stand apart as a unique individual and feel strong enough to shake off fears of rejection. Imagine having the ability to take risks in the knowledge that you can handle whatever life throws at you.

Archetypes. Each chakra has two archetypal personalities. One represents how we behave with a dysfunctional or blocked chakra and the other reflects our behavior with a functional or balanced chakra. The dysfunctional archetype of the solar plexus chakra is the Servant, sometimes known as the Drudge. This was me for many years! I am ever hopeful though that I am moving toward the functional archetype of the Warrior. Realistically, we are all a bit of both of these in varying degrees at one time or another but those with healthy self esteem tend to be more like the Warrior archetype and those with low self esteem have Servant tendencies. It's useful to look at these archetypes as it can help us to become more aware of how we behave as a precursor to moving on, or modifying, our behaviour.The Drudge or Servant. This archetype is not as dysfunctional as the 'Victim' or the 'Martyr' of the lower two chakras. The key problems of the Servant are submissiveness with no self belief and the need for outside approval to feel accepted and loved. The Servant doesn't place any value on themselves and constantly criticizes themselves as being unworthy. As a servant we often see everyone else as having amazing qualities without realizing that we too have great qualities and power, if only we could develop some inner strength and place enough value on ourselves to see it.

Some of the healing strategies for the solar plexus chakra include risk taking, stress control, vigorous exercise and strengthening of will. Taking a risk even if you may fail is the same as facing fear. This combined with the vigorous exercise and affirming that whatever I will to do, I can do, pretty much sums up my first attempt at entering a race and throwing off Drudge tendencies!The WarriorThe power of this archetype comes from an inner strength developed through facing troubles and experiencing growth through challenges. By looking inside ourselves and honoring what we see, we can cease to place our worth beneath that of others. Acting with integrity, trusting our intuition and regarding ourselves as equal often requires a lot of inner strength as we encounter criticism, rejection or conflict. The Warrior stays true, knows their power resides within them and they can handle it, even if they have to stand apart from the crowd to do so.

Self respect and compassion toward ourselves links to the next chakra up, the heart chakra. We can only love others fully when we regard ourselves as worthy of love.So why not try living it for a while? Be courageous, be proud of who you are and don't apologize for it. Try facing a physical fear and feel your comfort zone expand. If there is one thing you could do each day that would improve your relationship with yourself, what would it be?. Emma Gazzard.

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