What is fear of rejection – definition and causes
Fear of rejection is an irrational fear of not being accepted for who you are. Fear of rejection is caused by lack of confidence and self-esteem. You may have developed this fears during your childhood if your parents always compared you to others. It is important to start accepting the fact that anybody can be rejected from time to time. We can be rejected for a job offer or from relationships, but if we do not know how to handle these rejections we will be a trap into a vicious circle.
Would you rather keep this fear of rejection or take risks and live the life you deserve with happiness and joy?.
Some symptoms of fear of rejection
- You are never good enough. As a child when your parents always compared you to others with good intentions, you might have felt insecure and developed the belief that you have to be perfect to be accepted by other people.
- You stop yourself from doing things or speaking up because of your insecurity issues.
- You start to lose your identity by acting, dressing, talking and imitating other’s whom you admire because of your fears.
- You are unable to say “no” and then you feel bad about yourself.
- And, your image is determined by what others say about you and not about who you are.
By taking care of yourself, you increase your confidence. If you suffer low esteem, you will be insecure about who you are. These feelings come from the belief that you are never good enough and because of that reason you will be rejected.
When I was a child, I felt always judged and compared all the time. I kept asking myself: “What is wrong with me?”, which led me to the conclusion: “I am not good enough”.
I remember when I was 11; I was at my cousin’s house trying to have a good time in the swimming pool sitting on around life belt enjoying the sun. All of the sudden I tried to get out of it and I couldn’t’, I was stuck somehow. My cousins were looking at me and laughing, “hey, you look like whale, I think you have to start to lose some weight”. Can you just picture this eleven-year-old girl confronting this situation? For many years after that event, I never sat again on a life belt to enjoy the sun.
The causes of fear of rejection are multiple. But regardless of the reasons, you can start dissolving this fear. I would like to share with you some ideas I learned from my personal experience for handling fear of rejection.
“Rejection is a word, fear of rejection is a feeling, overcoming the fear of rejection is an action, and actions speak louder than words.” Unknown.
We all face rejection in our lives at some point; it is inevitable and cannot be avoided or ignored. Rejection is always hiring either it is from someone’s validation, relationship, invasion, or job. People from all places get rejected at some point in their lives. But the issue is the pain we feel when we get rejected, and studies have proved that it is as painful as physical trauma. Our brain perceives it as trauma instead of taking it as an opportunity.
People in the world fear rejection, and they fear rejection more than fear of anything else. People think that if it happens once, it will happen again. This thing helps them moving forward in their lives, and their lives become miserable. This fear socks all the adventures from experience. No one wants to get rejected by the person they love.
Rejection is a common experience that every people have gone through. Be it in professional or personal aspects of life, experiencing rejection makes people doubt their own abilities and stop exploring possibilities for fear of going through the same painful process again. Fear of rejection is understandable, but if these fears hold you back from benign happy and confident, then it is a problem and has to be resolved. First, we see what causes this fear of rejection.
What causes fear of rejection?. The causes of fear of rejection can range from believes that make a person feel unattractive to others, being rejected as a child, or having been abandoned or unloved. The causes also can be low self -esteem, low sense of self-worth or lack a healthy self-concept. There are several life experiences and childhood trauma that will lead to a fear of rejection. The fear of rejection may be due to any physical condition or appearance due to which they assume that they are unattractive. Some people face rejection in their childhood; some are abandoned or unloved, left to face the difficulties alone. Any kind of traumatic experience in the past develops a deep fear of rejection and left them scarred. Due to many unresolved issues, they develop insecurities, which makes them unable to resolve conflicts. This leads to lower self-esteem and lack of confidence.
Fear of rejection can limit your potential for success. Some people who’ve been way too disheartened by rejection ends up refusing to take on challenging tasks in their jobs or would be forever afraid of starting relationships. The fear of being rejected can be so powerful that it can control the path of your life. But it doesn’t have to be that way. But the thing to remember is that everyone likes it a thing that everyone has to pass, but the thing is to keep going and not stop you live over one rejection.
Here are 12 excellent tips that will help you overcome the fear of rejection.
- Acknowledge and Validate your feelings: No matter how people treat you, the most important thing is your treatment with yourself. Always acknowledge and validate your feelings. Whatever people say, you must know your value. Rejection hurts, but if you know your true self, it is easy to overcome the pain. No one knows better than you, so never underestimate yourself on others’ opinion if you tell yourself that others’ opinion doesn’t matter, it will help you a lot in getting rid of the fear.
- Raise your confidence level by learning when you should assert your right. Studies show that people with low self esteem has a high tendency of being a crowd pleaser. Because they feel inadequate, they feel that to be accepted by other people they must always agree to what they were asked to do. Keep in mind that voicing your thoughts and knowing when to say no is a huge factor in setting higher self confidence since it allows you to demonstrate your real self and be accepted for who you are.
- Always remember your worth: People have different opinions, and they can differ from you. So if you know your worth, no one can quickly degrade you, and if they reject you, you understand what your true self is; this will help you remain confident and remind you that you are always worthy of love and care like everyone.
- Always lookup for new things and opportunities: People often don’t think it this way, but rejection can be an opportunity to open new doors and self-discovery. Refusal often makes you more skilled and grow in life. People, when they get rejected, try to improve themselves and become better than ever.
- Keep things in perspective: Never invest too much in anything; if you keep balance, it won’t hurt more. Having sensitive to all the thongs around you cause more harm.
- Face your fear: The best thing is to face the situation than to ignore it. If you want to achieve something, you have to take something, and it comes with rejection, but you can’t achieve big goals without taking it. Acknowledge the root of your fear. Rather that hiding and escaping from it, relive the first time you felt the pain of rejection. It is not easy. Some people never want to look back to the things that hurt them. But the process of moving on requires that you recognize the rejection and the reasons behind it. Look back and ask yourself, what have you learned from it? If you were to go back, how would you have reacted? Imagine yourself going back to the same situation, smarter and much confident knowing that everything will be alright in the end.
- Work on your fear: Figure out what scares you most of the rejection or not achieve something. So work on your fear that what bothers you most and address that.
- Trust your loved ones: It is essential to connect with your best support team; they will remind you of who you are and let you face reality. Real friends help to understand and will encourage you. They make you feel the rejection less scary.
- Avoid negative thoughts and self-talk: The first thing that you should remember is the mind set. Fear of rejection stems from the fact that you expect it to happen. You should not anticipate negative things; try to always focus on positive thoughts. However, if you are the type of person who is not optimistic by nature, surround yourself with people who can keep the optimism within your circle. After the rejection, it is easy to fall into self-criticism and negative thoughts. These types of things make you feel it is your fault which is not so thought positively and calmly; this would change your perspective and help you think properly.
- Rejection Happens to everyone: Always remember it happens to everyone. Some people take rejection wisely and grow, and some lose their hopes. It is essential to know that it is part of our journey, and we can pass through it. Never let your thoughts dictate what you should feel. Life coaches suggest that constructive imagination helps in overcoming fear of rejection. Think about situations where you might face rejection and what could be your possible reactions to it? By using imagination, you can play out the scenarios in your mind which are helpful in building the confidence that you’ll need once you face that situation.
- Professional help: Sometimes the rejection causes long-lasting effects; thus, it is vital to seek professional help. As for some people, it is not easy to overcome the issue; then, professionals will help you overcome the effects of rejection.
- Hypnosis or hypnotherapy helps. Sometimes, this fear damages your emotions and affects your unconscious mind or subconscious mind; thus, it is essential to get hypnosis to resolve the issue. Try Dealing with rejection. download.
- Book Reading; Reading books also helps a lot; many people out there got rejected several times, but still, they don’t lose hope, and eventually, they get success. Reading such books will help you face the fear of rejection. Go to Fears books and find a book that can help you deal with your fear.
- The last most important tip that you should remember in overcoming fear of rejection is to positively accept that rejection happens in life. The key is to understand that however hard it may be, you should always survive because rejection is part of the learning process that allows people to grow and be successful in life.
- Don’t take things personally. Remind yourself that your goal is to have a happy life.If somebody hurts your feelings, change what you say to yourself. Never tie your self-worth to whether or not you get accepted or rejected by other people.
- Try to define yourself independently of others people opinions. For example, if you are an individual who likes to help, avoid thinking about other’s people reactions about you helping. If you need help dealing with this issue check: What People Think self-hypnosis download. When you care too much what, others think you are open to manipulation. When you care less what other people think you become a more honest person because you don’t have to pretend so much.
- Try to be comfortable being uncomfortable. If you are rejected, take it as a challenge and learn to accept this situation. Then, reframe the situation. Try: Overcome Your Insecurities! Whether you have problems with social insecurity or lack of self-belief, this download will help make your life so much easier.
- Use your sense of humor.
We live in a place where we have to meet many people in a day and can’t meet their expectations, so we have to face criticism and rejection. But defining yourself on these comments will make you fall. So always look up after every rejection and failure and take it as a new step to grow. Everything heals with time and if you are emotionally broken, then is always the best option to seek professional help.
How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection | Brian Tracy
Brian Tracy shares his proven 4 step formula for overcoming these fears and changing your attitude from negative to positive
Brian Tracy suggest that fear of rejection was learned when our parents did not give us love an approval when we did something wrong.
Dealing with rejection. As you relax and listen repeatedly to your download, you’ll notice a number of changes :
- feel much calmer and more at ease generally
- develop a wider perspective on rejections you’ve experienced
- find you can let go more quickly
- value yourself whether others approve of or accept you or not
- feel much more confident
Download Dealing With Rejection , you can listen on your computer or device or via our free app . Dealing with Rejection has been purchased by 454 customers.
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EFT and Fear of rejection
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