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Step 9: Saying “Sorry” Too Much Lowers Your Self-Esteem
There is nothing wrong about saying “Sorry” when you have made a mistake or when you are apologizing to someone. However, saying “sorry” too much lowers your self-esteem. According to psychologists, over-apologizing stems from critical and demanding parents during childhood. To manage the stressful situations they face at home, children frequently resort to apologizing to calm down a family member and to avoid conflict. Saying “sorry” too much lowers your self-esteem, so it is best to break this habit and learn to communicate your feelings more effectively. How you can break your habit of saying “Sorry” too much.?
- Realize Your Value. To stop over-apologizing, you must recognize your value and the importance of your life. If you are always apologizing, you are focusing on the negative aspects of your life. It means that you are always seeking approval for the way you live your life. Learn to love who you are despite your imperfections. Don’t devalue yourself because you are not perfect.
- Listen To Yourself. Learn to listen to yourself when you’re over-apologizing. Recognize your feelings and emotions when you’re giving an apology. Stop apologizing when you realize that you’re apologizing to avoid conflict with someone, to please someone, or to remove yourself from negative attention. Apologizing for these reasons sends a message to everyone that you’re not “good enough”.
- Take A Break, If you got into a conflict or a messy situation because of a miscommunication, don’t apologize right away. Take a break, relax, and give yourself time to think. Sometimes, it is not your fault that you got into that situation. Think before you decide to apologize. Approach the situation from a different point of view, think of a solution, and just forget about it. You don’t always have to take the blame for everything that happened. Take a break instead.
- Stop The Habit. Stop the habit of saying “sorry” all the time when you are in a conflict or when you’re getting negative attention. If you’re apologizing all the time, then people won’t know if you’re sorry or if you’re just saying it to avoid a conflict. Make your apologies authentic by only saying “sorry” when you mean it. You should stop lowering your self-esteem and limit your confidence. If you don’t blame yourself all the time, you can start living happily. Only apologize when you know it is your fault.
Remember to think about the situation carefully to make sure that it is your fault and that you have to say sorry. If it is your fault, just apologize. There is no need to beat yourself up and get depressed over it. Remember that life is a learning experience and that you became a better and wiser person because of the mistakes you made in the past. Stop dwelling on your past mistakes and live your life confidently. Once you learn to love yourself, you will cure your habit of saying “sorry” too much.
Download now: Apologize Less
Step 10: Common Mistakes – The First thing to do
- Don’t dwell on self-pity
- Stop victim mentality
- Do not try doing all at once
The First thing to do
The first thing to do is to become aware where you are now and make a plan to start feeling good about yourself. Making a plan and following through will build your self-respect.
I will give you an example. I believe the first step to take is the first one I have mentioned before: “Take care of your body.” Illness can have a devastating impact on your good being. Illness can wipe out self-confidence and create feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, anxiety, and fear.
My Goal to feel good about myself
Date: February 24th, 2012
I will start my goal by March 1st, 2012
My goals are: Start and exercise program three times a week
Obstacles: Laziness, tiredness, negative thinking
|Avoid Self-sabotage by reading every day: “Improved self-esteem is a key psychological benefit of regular physical activity. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins trigger a positive feeling “.|
|Plan of actions: Research gyms, find friend, go shopping, set budget||Tools I need: Working with a friend, buying clothe, set budget for gym|
The 9 Steps to feel good about yourself
- Take care of your body and mind
- Wear clothes to help you feel good
- Develop Positive Thinking
- Do not compare yourself to others
- Accept yourself
- Accept compliments
- Identify positive qualities
- Stop putting yourself down
- Stop saying sorry too much
Developing the 9 steps will translate into:
- I feel energetic and positive
- I like the way I look
- I can do it
- I am unique
- I am worthy
- I am proud
- I am confident
- I am good enough
- I have value
Go To Step 1: Take Care of Your Body – Take Care of Your Mind