During our young and inexperienced years, dating can often feel like a minefield. Chances are, you’ve had to ask questions such as “How long should I wait until I text back?” or “Am I being too easy to get if I keep being available for dates?”
Playing these mind games can be acceptable if you’re still a young teenager. But if you’re a grown adult who is looking for a serious romantic relationship, playing these mind games will only make you miserable.
There’s also a huge chance that you’ve met people in your adult life who’ve made your dating life so frustrating, when in fact, dating SHOULD be a fun activity for both parties involved.
So why do some people still play mind games when they’re dating? It could be because they’re insecure, immature, or have commitment issues – clearly, they are emotionally unprepared for a serious relationship, and it shows through how they treat the people they’re dating.
People who come off as emotionally unprepared are terrible candidates for a serious relationship. If you are truly eager to establish a fulfilling relationship with someone, you need to stop playing mind games – and here are six reasons why.
1. It Creates Toxic Relationships
A relationship that is built on insecurities and emotional manipulation is destined to end up the way it started.
One of the most important pillars of a healthy and stable relationship is trust, because it is what makes two partners bond comfortably and be open with sharing their lives. Playing mind games is a clear sign that you don’t trust your potential partner, and your relationship is bound to get shaky and miserably filled with issues if you’ve started it off with games to “test” your significant other.
Everybody deserves to have a relationship that is honest, supportive, and open – wouldn’t you want to have that too?
2. It Scares Potential Partners Away
People who are emotionally ready for a relationship already know what qualities are desirable in a partner – and what qualities to avoid.
Emotionally healthy people know that insecure and immature people make unsuitable partners for a serious relationship. Playing mind games is a clear sign that you are not yet emotionally ready for a relationship, and mature people know that mind games only lead to complicated situations between two people. Mature people know that a relationship is a life shared between two people and it SHOULD be a comfortable partnership, because if you’ve got other things to worry about in life, a complicated partner is the least of what you need!
These potential partners might even genuinely like or love you for who you are, but acting immature will drive them away nonetheless. Spare them the heartbreak and stop ruining your chances of finding “the one” by NOT playing mind games!
3. It Will Always Backfire
The saying, “Do not do unto others what you don’t want done unto you” is applicable even in your dating life. If you want to be treated with respect and kindness, don’t riddle your dates with complicated mind games: because chances are, they will play these games back at you.
Dating should be a fun activity in which two people spend time to get to know each other, not an endless minefield that you have to maneuver. If you make the people you date feel insecure, they will eventually treat you the same way just to get even.
4. It Ruins Your Chances
One of the best ways to meet our love interests is by getting introduced through common friends. But if the people around you are already convinced you’re not suitable for a healthy relationship, you will probably be the last person they’ll want to introduce to their other single friends.
It is only normal for the people around you to want the best for their other friends. Even if you might feel like your dating life is of minute importance to others, people will subconsciously take note of how you behave and treat your dating life. They wouldn’t want to see their common friend suffer from your mind games!
If you want to increase your chances of acquiring more dates and meeting the perfect match, you should begin taking your dates seriously. Make a good impression of how you treat your dating life and that also includes how you portray yourself through social media.
5. It’s selfish
The very act of toying with someone else’s feelings with mind games mean that you don’t care about how it’s affecting them emotionally, because you’re only concerned of how YOU will be on the winning side in every situation.
The constant need to come off as the “winner” in these dating games is a clear sign of insecurity. A mature and emotionally secure person is not concerned about how they will one-up other people, let alone their love interest. Hence, these manipulative mind games will only say more about yourself as a person.
You can only build real and healthy connections if you’re comfortable with being straightforward with your love interest.
6. It Will Burn You Out
All these deceit and stress caused by playing mind games will eventually take a toll on your emotional health. It’s a clear sign that you’re insecure or that you have issues from past relationships that you clearly have to fix.
Before you plunge into the dating scene again, make a self-assessment of how ready you actually are for a relationship by analyzing all aspects of your life. If you feel that you aren’t ready yet, feel free to take a breather and start the process of healing your past wounds and insecurities.
Once you finally feel confident in yourself, you’ll notice a drastic change in how you view the world. Through self-care, you will learn how to love yourself, which is a prerequisite to learning how to give love to other people.