Positive Self-Talk: 3 Simple Steps to Change Negative Thinking
You are far more liable to believe your negative thoughts when you hear them repeatedly.
So, how do you keep your inner critic from getting the best of you? If you want to silence your inner critic and develop more positive self-talk, follow these 3 steps.
If you also struggle with recurring negative thoughts and overthinking, you may find How to Stop Negative Thoughts and Overthinking helpful.
Step #1: Acknowledge Your Inner Critic
If you have a self-defeating thought, you can say, “Thank you for sharing,” and move on to another thought. Or you can say, “Stop it,” and replace it with something more positive.
Whenever that little voice pops up, realize that you’re criticizing yourself and that these comments aren’t necessarily based in fact.
For example, if you’re getting ready to take a test in your Advanced Biochemistry class, take a second to think about how irrational those comments from your inner critic are. After all, if you weren’t capable of taking the class, you wouldn’t be taking Advanced Biochemistry, now would you?
When you consciously realize that your inner critic isn’t acting rationally, it becomes easier to ignore. Every time your inner critic rears its head, take a second to acknowledge it. Then, make a conscious effort to move past the negative thought.
The first step toward positive self-talk is becoming aware of your negative thoughts.
Have you ever found yourself making a mistake and thinking:
“I am stupid. I will never get this right. There is no sense in keeping trying.”
If you have healthy self-esteem, the first thing you can do is become aware that you are having a negative thought.
You can change negative self-talk with awareness. Listen to what you are saying to yourself. Recognize your negative dialogue and develop the habit of using more positive self-talk.
Then, you can either stop the thought and move on, or talk back to that part of you that is defeating you:
“Thank you for sharing. I know that I made a mistake. However, this is a good way to learn. Now that I know what I have done wrong, I can try it again. Making a mistake does not mean that I am a mistake.”
Step #2: Ask Your Inner Critic Questions
What does it want? Why does it keep popping up?
You may discover that your inner critic has a very particular purpose. Some internal critics are there to make you feel guilty; others are there to keep you focused.
If you know what’s driving your inner critic, it’s easier to respond to its attacks instead of automatically believing what it says.
Ask yourself:
- Is this thought really true?
- What evidence do I have?
- Am I being too hard on myself?
- Is there another way to look at this situation?
Questioning your thoughts can help you develop a more positive and balanced self-talk.
Analyze How Your Inner Critic Has Hurt You in the Past
Make a list of everything that your inner critic has done to interfere with your life.
For example, if you never tried out for the cheerleading squad because you didn’t think you were pretty enough, write it down. Or, if you never went to Law School because your inner critic convinced you that you couldn’t handle the pressure, write it down.
Once you have your list, accept what your inner critic has caused and make a decision not to let the same pattern stop you from taking opportunities in the future.
That way, you can move forward without worrying that your inner critic is going to ruin other opportunities.
It is crucial to get into the habit of not tolerating constant negative thinking. The dialogue that goes on inside your head all day comments on everything you do, and most of the time, it can become negative.
Having positive self-talk can help support your confidence and the way you see yourself. The way you talk to yourself matters.
Start to talk to yourself in a more positive and supportive way.
How to Support Yourself With Positive Self-Talk
Developing positive self-talk starts with noticing the way you speak to yourself.
When you make a mistake, instead of immediately criticizing yourself, pause and ask:
“What can I learn from this?”
You don’t have to pretend that everything is perfect. Positive self-talk simply means learning to respond to yourself in a more supportive and balanced way.
The next time your inner critic appears, acknowledge the thought, question it, and choose a more positive response.
With practice, you can develop a healthier inner dialogue and become more supportive of yourself.
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