Self-Hate
by Carla Valencia
In this article I would like to talk about self hate also known as self-hatred, that is a destructive pattern that can ruin your life. What is self hate. How self hatred is developed and ways for overcoming self hate .
What is self hate - self hatred?
Self-hatred , self hate or self-loathing, sometimes officially called "autophobia", is the name for one's having an extreme dislike of or terrible rage against oneself. Self-hate is typically caused by feeling of "not being worthy of" something desired. So, the real feelings get masked even as they are dramatically.
How is self-hate developed?
Self-hate is developed by conditioning. This conditioning may grow from different roots:
- Feelings of being hated. A person might be "different" or they might have some bad circumstances in their life that causes them to, just for instance, not be able to keep themselves as clean as they would like to be. Others notice this strangeness and insensitively point it out to the person or mock them. The person develops a self-hate pattern because of other's people feelings and his/her inability to keep himself as clean as he would like to.
- Negative thoughts about themselves. People can easily begin thinking bad things about themselves if they notice they don't fit the mold of society or their family's expectations. And society and parents usually won't tell them anything different about themselves.
- Perfectionism : Perfectionists want things to be better than are. They take it upon themselves to make things better. However, they soon reach a point where nothing is good enough. Everything always has to be better, yet they can't make things better. When they get criticized or when something they have done is criticized, they feel like they have failed. The day comes when they just hate themselves for not being "perfect".
- Shame. Shame is related to guilt , and guilt is an "evil" emotion because it means you hate yourself instead of your mistakes. When you feel a constant feeling of shame, you feel as if your every move is wrong, and soon you feel self-hate for feeling that way. When you feel guilt you feel that you betrayed yourself. With shame , as Bradshaw defines , you believe that you are a mistake. Shame keeps you immobilized because of your fear of being wrong.
Healing Self-Hate
Self-hate is the polar opposite of self-love and its healthy, but not unrealistic self-esteem. How can you heal yourself of hating yourself?
- Learn how to accept feeling love from others and yourself--as long as it's not some kind of "hero worship". The only way to be able to receive and accept love from others is loving yourself .
- Build your self esteem and confidence . Feel good about yourself. If there is something about yourself that you, just for yourself, don't like, change it. But never change for others.
- End negative thoughts. This takes work, but you can and must change your own stream of consciousness if you hate yourself. Easier said than done, re-program your mind to have a constant stream of positive thoughts. Stop Negative Thinking Now
- Remember that Self-Hypnosis techniques is one of the best tools you can use to accomplish these goals. Download stop self hate today and change your life--today!
- Are you a perfectionist? try Overcoming perfectionism The trick is to know when to be 'all or nothing' and when to relax and see the shades of gray so you can give yourself and others credits for the effort and the attempt.
The only thing "wrong with you" is your self-hate. It's wrong for you to hate yourself! Change your life today!
Recommended books: There Is Nothing Wrong with You
How to Love Yourself
And
Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook (Insight Guide)
