Abusive Relationships

abusive relationships

Trust, Respect, and Consideration for your loved ones and other persons are parts of a healthy relationship. Abusive Relationships can ruin this matter if turned the wrong way. Based on research one out of eleven students in high school has reported cases of physical injury just on a date.

Sometimes people do not consider the concern and intense feeling of their loved ones and other people. Just thinking of your friend’s girlfriend or boyfriend can lead to misunderstanding and can be mistaken by their partners.

And actually, too much jealousy and rude behavior may result in abuse, or if it becomes severe it can lead to killing.

Respect and Trust are the two aspects involve in Love; you need to trust your partner even when he or she is not around, and show respect with all your heart. If you sense that uncomfortable situation is coming into your relationship, the best possible solution to that is to talk with each other in a calm atmosphere and avoid the means to control.

Abuse! What Is It?

Sexual, physical, and emotional are the three main classifications of Abuse.

  1. Sexual abuse may happen to a woman or a man. Forcing you to engage in a sexual matter is never right. It can be regarded as rape, and there is also a thing as marital rape.
  2. Physical abuse is violence in a way of kicking, punching, hitting, and pulling of hair. It can occur in friendships and dating relationships.
  3. Emotional abuse is like bullying, humiliating, and teasing others, it can be difficult to sense because the affection of that person is inside. This is a dangerous matter because it can lead to threats, betrayal, intimidations and putdowns. This kind of harmful forms if not taken seriously can decrease the self-esteem of a person suffering in emotional abuse, and it may occur not just in a single span of time but for a very long time.

“With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at the victim’s self-esteem until he or she is incapable of judging a situation realistically. He or she may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or even fear they are losing their mind.” Beverly Engel

Warning Signs

You are in stage of abusive relationship if you feel this kind of warning signs happening:

  • 1. Harming you physically in many ways such as grabbing, shaking, kicking, punching, pushing, slapping, smacking, and grabbing.
  • 2. Controlling your different characteristics in life, like how you wear a dress, how you eat, and what you will say.
  • 3. Humiliates you and making you feel helpless and unworthy in your life.
  • 4. Threatens you in physical injury or attempt of suicide if you are planning to get out in your relationship.
  • 5. Being jealous and angry when you are spending time with your longtime friends.
  • 6. Calling you at all times and demanding you to report every time.
  • 7. Making you blame yourself even if he or she is the one to blame for.
See also  Self-esteem and intimate relationships

Controlling Partners

A Controlling partner in relationships just cannot make for strong partners. You may see, or believe you see, a lot that is worth having in a controlling partner.
But there is absolutely nothing more valuable in an intimate relationship than your ability to be yourself, to be free as an individual. You, too, are an integer. You don’t exist to serve the whims of your partner, except as you actually desire to do so.

Those who seek to control you in the relationship don’t love you-even if they believe they do. They are far more concerned about power or protecting themselves against getting hurt than they are with loving you. They probably actually do find you attractive but that doesn’t mean that they love you.
How can you tell if you are victimizing yourself by staying in a relationship with a control freak?

Signs of a controlling partner

  1. Constant Jealousy. Some jealousy in a relationship is natural and a healthy sign of real love. But a controlling partner is jealous over every little thing. And he gets angry in his jealousy, too. (Or, she does.) He’s always mad at you for “making him jealous” even when you know you did nothing at all that he should even be jealous over. When you defend yourself to him, he doesn’t listen; he just insists that you must “never do that again.”
  2. Tracking where you go and who you visit with other than him (or her). In a healthy love relationship, you always feel free go wherever you want to go. There is mutual trust between the two of you. There is no “tracking” of activities.
  3. You are told what to wear. Your partner does not want you to appear too sexy to other people. In a healthy relationship, your partner is proud that others find you sexy-it reflects his good taste, and obviously, his good character makes him get one as special as you.
  4. Always telling you what to do. If your partner always tells you what to do, and gets angry whenever you deviate, it means that s/he has a script or code in mind for you designed to make sure you never do anything to “threaten” them.
See also  Narcissistic Parenting and its Destructive Impact

Sometimes, a control-freak partner can be dealt with if you just stand up for your rights within the relationship. It is important, no matter what, that you do not give in to their demands. Sometimes they will change once they see that your independence is no threat to them, although they may be very uncomfortable at first.

Other times, it can help to take them along with you a few times, so they can see themselves what you are doing when not with them. But if none of these things work, and work in short order, it is time to break up.

Above all things, always watch out for a partner to get violent if you stand up for yourself. If you see any signs of this, leave the relationship immediately-even if they have threatened to come after you if you ever do.

You cannot be a control freak. It’s that simple. Don’t make excuses for them if they won’t change. Just get out.

Abusive Relationships Quotes


“The tragedy is that so many people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves, and so they fail in their search.” Dr Nathaniel Branden

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