Self-esteem and intimate relationships

intimate relationships

When we talk about communication in intimate relationships we have to understand that the relationship we maintain with ourselves (self-esteem) affects all others. Speaking of relationships, a healthy self-esteem not only helps to find that love, but also the most important thing: to maintain it. The most common are that people attract and feel attracted to others with a self-esteem similar to yours, but it can vary. Most people see marriage or their relationship as a context of love, mutual support, and a way of affirming themselves. But what happens when one, or both of them, have low self-esteem?

Once the couple relationship is in progress, the low self-esteem of one of the members can overwhelm the partner. When it passes a year or two at most, when the effervescence of physical attraction has passed, insecurities begin to surface, which may spread through the relationship like poison ivy and harm your relationship.

How low self-esteem can impact your relationship.

In the first place, we will define self-esteem as how a person is reflected, defined regarding what he thinks of himself. It is not possible to quantitatively measure self-esteem, but we can approach a measure by thinking:

What number of positive qualities do I have?
How many things do not make myself proud?

The impact of low self-esteem on the couple is enormous, and even if you do not believe it, it also impacts on the way you see your partner and ends up on the way they are seeing you.

Doubts about yourself translate into insecurities in the relationship

We are sure that you know what we are talking about. In particular, people with low self-esteem need the affirmation on the part of their partners, they need their relationship to be an inexhaustible source of acceptance. In this way, they transfer all their doubts about themselves and turn them into insecurities of the relationship, ruining the possibilities that a relationship offers to benefit their self-esteem.

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Take the worst when we seek the best

Although people always want to see their partner better than they see themselves, people with low self-esteem believe that their partner sees them as much less than they are. Even so, a person with low self-esteem can benefit from having a partner with a very high self-esteem as a couple. This is simple because even though one side feels that his/her partner perceives him/her negatively, that person will always think that the other one is always choosing to be together.

low self esteem impact your relationshipBelieving that love can be dissipated by problems outside the couple

Many times, people with low self-esteem imagine that dissatisfaction will also occur with their partner. This sensation is increased when they have a bad job interview, or lose their job or change their career, just because they are not satisfied with themselves. In most cases, those with low self-esteem transfer the problems from the outside to make them a partner problem. The problem in these cases is that, in general, the couple will try to minimize this non-relationship event, will offer other alternatives, and this will be seen as a disregard of the problem or as a criticism by the person with low self-esteem.

A simple way to try and fight this is to put into perspective the fact that even if a problem has arisen, you love the person in the same way because you know that he deserves something better.
For many reasons, low self-esteem is the scar that many adults have to deal with on a daily basis. The past cannot be changed, so it is important to take action on this issue in the present. Being in love with a partner is really a good thing to have a new point of reference, a different perspective on life.

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What can we do?

If anyone in the relationship suffers from self-esteem, before letting this affect your relationship, start doing activities like this every day. Look for a positive quality of yourself, and one of your partner EVERY DAY, no matter what happens, it does not matter if they have fought or if they start repeating them. In this way, they will be founding a new thought about themselves and will increase confidence in the relationship.

Always remember that when  you want to develop a communication in intimate relationships , you can work on your emotions, and you can build a healthy and sincere couple. It’s never too late to improve yourself and help your relationship. Do not let love be lost for not having good communication. Many times, our partner just needs to know what is happening so that together, a solution can be found.


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