If you’ve ever gone through a series of disappointing relationships, you have to admit that the idea of giving up on relationships forever can be sometimes tempting.
Singlehood is a double-edged sword: it can get painstakingly lonely sometimes, but its also a time in our lives when we can focus on our personal growth and well-being. Some people learn to embrace and cherish this season in their life – and at the most convenient moment, they get to meet someone who fits all the pieces.
For some people, however, singlehood is the most dreadful thing that could possibly happen to them. Oftentimes, these are the people that have constantly been in relationships, and the sudden loss of the companionship they’re grown accustomed to. It’s perfectly alright to feel this way; as a human being, we ultimately crave companionship that will last for the rest of our lives.
The true problem lies in not being able to break the bad habits that keep you from cherishing singlehood or finding a suitable partner. Here are some examples of the behaviors that may prevent you from having a successful relationship, unless you start changing for your own good:
Refusing to Let Go of The Past
When we’ve had a couple of relationships in the past, you will never really forget the people who you used to love. This becomes even more true if the time you’ve spent years with these people.
Bumping into your ex years after breaking up with them can bring back feelings, and it can get even more painful when you see them with someone else. Feeling this way is completely normal.
But if you refuse to move on and let your experiences with your exes affect your dating life, that’s when YOU have a problem.
There are a couple of behaviors that are clear signs that you refuse to move on. One example is when you take your ex’s attributes as the ideal for your future dates; not only is this unfair to the men you’re about to date, but you’re not doing yourself a favor by preventing yourself from meeting genuinely good people. Remember, there’s a reason why your relationship didn’t work – no matter how amazing your ex can be as a person, keep in mind that you’ll never run out of people who are highly compatible with you!
Settling for Flings
“It’s just a harmless fling, and its all just for fun… so what could go wrong, right?”
Anything could go wrong with a seemingly harmless fling.
First of all, unless you’ve got the emotional strength of a rock, settling for a fling in the “meantime” will eventually run deep into your emotions no matter how hard you’ll try. If you think you’re just spending time with this person to pass the time is a harmless act, you will eventually develop an emotional connection with this person – and because you already know this relationship won’t work in the first place (which is why you’ve kept it as a fling), it will only backfire and hurt you in the end.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, don’t waste your time investing in multiple flings. Save yourself from the pain and hassle, and use this free time to instead work on your self-improvement.
Refusing to Change Your Mistakes
While it’s not wrong to believe that your future partner should love and accept you for who you are, there are also reasons why your previous relationships didn’t work – it could be your bad habits, terrible hygiene, or immature behavior!
Self-reflection is vital in keeping ourselves in shape, physically and mentally. Chances are, you already know what you have to change because some people might’ve already pointed it out for you. And if you refuse to change this because of laziness or pride, you are bound to keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
Before you seek to committing to a partner, you should ask yourself first if you’re truly ready to give yourself to someone else.
Blame Other People for Your Singlehood
You might’ve had a couple of run-ins with people who disappointed you and hurt your feelings. And although it seems like it’s taking a lot of time to find the “right” person… never put the blame on other people (or an entire gender) for your unsuccessful love life.
The worst mistake to make is to lump an entire category of people to get rejected because you’ve had a terrible experience with a few of them. Although it’s understandable if you’re simple being cautious, you’re just messing with your chances of finding someone suitable when you take it too far.
It could also be that you’re chasing all the wrong people. Take this time to reevaluate your choices, and appreciate the people that come in your way.
Panicking Over the Idea of Being Single Forever
While it might feel like you have been single for too long or that your time is running out, NEVER panic over the thought of never finding the “one”!
You are bound to meet someone who is just right for you, and they often come when you least expect it.
Now, if you start being scared of the idea of being single forever, it might lead to some erratic behaviors in your dating life.
One example is that you might be too “available” and fail to see your true worth as an individual over the expense of finding someone as soon as possible. Diving in too fast like that will only turn the other person off, and you might come off as desperate.
While it is alright to date and meet new people, never let yourself forget your worth as an individual. Make it your mentality that you are a “great catch”, and that you only deserve to be treated right, as everyone should be.
We understand how frustrating it can feel when you’re trying to find the one. But the thing is, it shouldn’t be frustrating – and instead, focus your energy on improving yourself and you’re bound to end up in a happy relationship that you will cherish for a long time!
Quotes About Being Single
If we seek paradise outside ourselves, we cannot have paradise in our hearts. Thomas Merton
Some people are scared of being single and would rather settle for someone who is not really their ideal partner but who can provide them with a sense of connection and security. A healthy self-esteem tells us that we should never settle. We matter and we need someone who fully feels the same way.
You’re single not because you are not good enough for one, it’s that you’re too good for the wrong one.
Some people look of those who are single as they would have some inherent flaw that makes them undesirable. Entering relationships just to prove to others that we can be loved is wrong. We don’t have to prove anything to others and if we are happy being single, there is no reason to feel guilty about it.
Think about it this way: While being married is about becoming the wife you are meant to be, being single allows you to focus on becoming the woman you were born to be.