Jealousy is always born with love, but does not always die with it. François D. de La Rochefoucauld
Overcoming jealousy can be hard sometimes. Jealousy is an emotion that shows up when there is a threat in a relationship. Jealousy in a relationship is the wish to keep for ourselves the person we love.
For example. When I was a child I got jealous at my brother when my parents gave him something. I though he was more lovable than me.
I had also became jealous when my husband was giving too much attention to other people instead of me.
I was raised to believe that we can control people through jealousy . It was good to be jealous at your spouse or make your spouse jealous. It was a sign of real love . Through the years I learned to overcome jealousy understanding that like any other emotion, jealousy is not good nor bad. But when jealousy is used to manipulate love, it becomes toxic , jealousy harms a healthy relationship.
Jealousy as a toxic emotion is when you manipulate your love one in a relationship. You do not believe that you are lovable enough and that you don’t deserve love. You are afraid to loose this person.
This is the case when low esteem plays a role. When you are insecure about yourself you will exaggerate events and it will be difficult to overcome jealousy. For example. If I see my husband talking to another woman. I will start feeling insecure and I will imagine things that are not real: “He loves her more than me”. “She wants to take him away from me”.
Jealousy as a healthy emotion is an alert that something is going wrong in our relationship. It is based on facts. If I see my husband seducing somebody else and I feel jealousy , this is called protective jealousy.
- To overcome jealousy you have to own your feelings. Be aware that your are feeling the emotion. This is the most important step to overcome jealousy.
- Work on your insecurity when dealing with jealousy by making the right questions. Learn to remember that you are not your thoughts or emotions. Learn the difference between observation and interpretation. This is a great tool to overcome jealousy. Observation is the actual fact. Is something that you detect is happening. (my husband has been talking to that women since we got here). Interpretation is what you think the observation means.(my husband is flirting with that women since we got here). The interpretation creates fear , in this case, my partner will leave me for somebody else.
- Building self esteem is the best tool to overcome jealousy. If you have a healthy esteem you will distinguish jealousy as toxic or healthy . Why?. Because you will not need to manipulate people to love you in your relationship. You are confident enough. You are centered and confident about your worth and it will be easier for you to overcome jealousy.
- Stop comparing yourself with others. The key is to find your uniqueness. Rather than use negative statements and putting yourself down all the time, begin to accept yourself as you are. Find your greatness and be proud.
Whether you are the jealous partner, or he is making you jealous, jealousy can devastate a relationship . All jealousy is caused by an over-active and misused imagination. Creating scenarios in your mind of what your partner is thinking or doing is the perfect way to torture yourself. Overcome jealousy will help you get control back over the workings of your imagination so it stops feeding you images of the worst happening. Dealing with jealousy download. Your partner will be astounded, (and probably overjoyed!) at the new relaxed, realistic you. Try now Overcome jealousy
How would it feel to expect the best from your relationships?. And what do you think your partner would notice first about your new attitude?. Download now Insecurity . Check more about relationships .
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Comments and Testimonials
“I am a jealous person to an extreme and it has ruined all of my relationships and i know it but i just cant stop.
I don’t know what to do anymore. Help!
“Well I get jealous of other girls calling my husband sexy and him talking to other girls.
I need help to over come this because it is make my marriage fall apart. PLEASE HELP ME”. Sunshine.
I am a really Jealous person and I know its wrong.. I have tried to change it so many times and it only works for about a week or two. Then my jealousy comes back again… I don’t understand why if I know he loves me… he trust me so much. I don’t know what to do, sometimes when we argue he tells me he is tired of me always accusing him of cheating and he is tired of me not trusting him. Maria.