Jealousy is always born with love, but does not always die with it. François D. de La Rochefoucauld
What is jealousy
Overcoming jealousy can be hard sometimes. Jealousy is an emotion that shows up when there is a threat in a relationship. Jealousy in a relationship is the wish to keep for ourselves the person we love.
For example. When I was a child I got jealous at my brother when my parents gave him something. I though he was more lovable than me.
I had also became jealous when my husband was giving too much attention to other people instead of me.
I was raised to believe that we can control people through jealousy . It was good to be jealous at your spouse or make your spouse jealous. It was a sign of real love . Through the years I learned to overcome jealousy understanding that like any other emotion, jealousy is not good nor bad. But when jealousy is used to manipulate love, it becomes toxic , jealousy harms a healthy relationship.
Jealousy is defined as thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. Jealousy involve emotions like pain, anger, rage, sadness, fear and humiliation. Protective jealousy is an alert that something is wrong in the relationship. But when it becomes toxic can be devastated.
Jealousy is a dynamic emotion that ranges from suspicion to anger, to fear of humility. It affects children and adults, genders and sexual orientations. Although Jealousy is a traumatic emotional experience, evolutionary biologists see it not as an emotion to be silenced but as one to be heeded — as a warning or a wake-up call that a cherished relationship is in danger and measures must be taken to recover a mate’s or a friend’s affection.
Why do we feel jealous?
Jealousy is that green eyed monster that lurks in the corner of every relationship. It can turn a happy companionship to a worst nightmare if not kept in check. Every girl feels, in some way, territorial over their partners.
Every girl feels, in some way, territorial over their partners. Any signs of threat and these girls are sure to stand up, ready to defend their territories. One of the responsibilities of the male partner is to reassure the girl that there is no other girl. But what if that doesn’t seem enough for her? .
What is extreme jealousy a sign of? Extreme jealousy , also known as pathological jealousy, morbid jealousy, Othello syndrome or delusional jealousy, is a sign the person is having a psychological disorder accusing their spouse or sexual partner of bein unfaithful without having any real proof Some symptoms include always asking where the partner is or who they are with, isolating the partner from their families and friends, threatening to harm others or themselves, going through the partner’s belongings, etc
How jealousy affect our lives
Jealousy stops growth in a relationship because comes from insecurity and lack of communication . If there is insecurity and no communication there is no intimacy in the relationship.
If there is no intimacy in a relationship there is no trust and no genuine love. The relationship becomes a way of manipulating the other person.
Jealousy as a toxic emotion
Jealousy as a toxic emotion is when you manipulate your love one in a relationship. You do not believe that you are lovable enough and that you don’t deserve love. You are afraid to loose this person.
This is the case when low esteem plays a role. When you are insecure about yourself you will exaggerate events and it will be difficult to overcome jealousy. For example. If I see my husband talking to another woman. I will start feeling insecure and I will imagine things that are not real: “He loves her more than me”. “She wants to take him away from me”.
Jealousy as a healthy emotion
Jealousy as a healthy emotion is an alert that something is going wrong in our relationship. It is based on facts. If I see my husband seducing somebody else and I feel jealousy , this is called protective jealousy.
9 Ways to overcome Jealousy
- Don’t Act out on your feelings.
It is difficult not to behave the way you feel. The feelings of Jealousy or any other feeling are not the problem; the real difficulty starts when you begin to act on the Jealousy, and let it overtake you. The first step in communicating to prevent jealousy is recognizing the fact that you are jealous. Assess why you feel that way.
Do the people surrounding you make you feel insecure about your relationship?. Is your man not reassuring you of your position in his life?. Whenever you feel stabs of jealousy slowly coming in, stop for a while and don’t let your emotion get the better of you. Understand the factors that make you feel that way. You can talk to your partner about it. The key to stopping jealousy is recognizing what causes it and opening communication lines is moving one step forward to keep it in check.
- Stay Secure and Competitive
To better control jealousy, you must have high confidence about yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror. Pamper yourself with cosmetics and shopping. Don’t let your worries show in your face. Make yourself beautiful. Once you feel beautiful inside, you will seldom find reasons to get jealous.
- Sit down and talk about it
It’s helpful to find the right person to talk to and a safe way to share what we feel when something like Jealousy is taking over. The kind of people we want to chat about our Jealousy are the ones who embrace a better side of us who help stop us from meditating or falling deeper into our sorrows.
- Appreciate yourself
Some of the main reasons why people are jealous are that they have trouble with low self-esteem and insecurity. You need to learn that there’s a reason why your partner first liked you and got along with you.
Do not take on the hobby of comparing yourself to others. You are your own unique self. It may seem like others are living a perfect life, understand that everybody goes through the same problems and they’re probably facing a more difficult challenges than you. Be thankful with what you have and focus on the positive things in your life.
- Have trust in yourself
The only thing you can do is have faith in yourself. Trust yourself; you will love profoundly and without regrets. Trust yourself; your love would serve as an anchor stopping your relationship from falling into the water.
- Let it go
Stop looking over his past girlfriend’s/past boyfriend’s photos to see who’s prettier. Aside from it is pointless routine to do, keep in mind that your partner is yours. He’s with you and that’s enough proof that you are more beautiful than anybody else. Tell yourself that this emotion is not needed in your life, and you give it up. Then “breathe deeply, and imagine it flowing like wind through you. Repeat as much as it takes to let go.
- Be aware of the triggering factors.
Think of the different things that make you feel stirred up. Was it a husband who has financial success? An ex who dates someone else?
- Learn from your Jealousy
We can use the emotions of Jealousy as a motivation to grow. For example, when your friend plays guitar, you know that you’re jealous that you want to do something. You are going to sign up for guitar lessons because of the wallowing in Jealousy.
- Manage your emotions mindfully
“To ease your fading emotions, practice awareness. For example, we recommend that readers listen to their bodies to detect how they feel, take several deep breaths and try to detach themselves from the intensity of these emotions.
Own your feelings. This is the most important step to overcome jealousy. You have to be aware of your jealousy. Express your own feelings.
Work on your insecurity . Learn the difference between observation and interpretation. Observation is a fact. (my husband has been talking to that women since we got here). Interpretation is what you think the observation means.(my husband is flirting with that women since we got here). Try: overcoming insecurity or overcoming jealousy
Building self esteem and confidence is the key.
To overcome jealousy you have to own your feelings. Be aware that your are feeling the emotion. This is the most important step to overcome jealousy.
Building self esteem is the best tool to overcome jealousy. If you have a healthy esteem you will distinguish jealousy as toxic or healthy . Why?. Because you will not need to manipulate people to love you in your relationship. You are confident enough. You are centered and confident about your worth and it will be easier for you to overcome jealousy.
Whether you are the jealous partner, or he is making you jealous, jealousy can devastate a relationship . All jealousy is caused by an over-active and misused imagination. Creating scenarios in your mind of what your partner is thinking or doing is the perfect way to torture yourself. Overcome jealousy will help you get control back over the workings of your imagination so it stops feeding you images of the worst happening. Dealing with jealousy download. Your partner will be astounded, (and probably overjoyed!) at the new relaxed, realistic you. Try now Overcome jealousy
How would it feel to expect the best from your relationships?. And what do you think your partner would notice first about your new attitude?. Download now Insecurity . Check more about relationships .
Jealousy is a sign of low self esteem because is based on insecurity. Stop comparing yourself with others. The key is to find your uniqueness. Rather than use negative statements and putting yourself down all the time, begin to accept yourself as you are. Find your greatness and be proud. Work on your insecurity when dealing with jealousy by making the right questions. Learn to remember that you are not your thoughts or emotions. Learn the difference between observation and interpretation. This is a great tool to overcome jealousy. Observation is the actual fact. Is something that you detect is happening. (my husband has been talking to that women since we got here). Interpretation is what you think the observation means.(my husband is flirting with that women since we got here). The interpretation creates fear , in this case, my partner will leave me for somebody else.
Learning to overcome jealousy is a process that will help anyone to live a more fulfilling and happy life. In short, Jealousy is destructive and intimate relationships are poisonous. You will be able to build a better relationship and deepen the trust if you follow these ideas and strategies when you are jealous.
Try to understand that being jealous can be in no way beneficial to you. Not only will it stress you out, it can strain your relationship with your man. If his female officemates make you feel insecure, casually mention it to him. Don’t go about accusing your man of something you are not sure of. Enjoy every time you spend with him. Never let jealousy ruin your relationship.
Overcome Jealousy is an audio hypnosis session that will help you trust your partner more, as you relax and listen repeatedly to your download, you’ll notice that you:
- Stop making yourself feel bad
- Develop a calmer, attitude towards your relationship
- Feel more confident and at ease within yourself.
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Jealous partner is an audio hypnosis session created by psychologists that will help you be more resilient , as you relax and listen repeatedly to your download, you’ll notice that you:
- Begin to feel much more relaxed, and optimistic about your situation
- You will start to invent creative ways to deal with the challenges that jealousy poses
- Find that you can be firm and fair without being harsh or unloving
- Can really express your love and reassurance to your partner while also caring appropriately for your own needs.
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Jealousy: Self-Help Guide To Overcome Jealousy Self-Esteem, Insecurity, Trust and Communication In Relationships
Why do I get so jealous? Because when you feel jealousy , you feel fearful of losing someone or a relationship that is very important to you.
Coping with Jealousy will help you understand the roots of your jealousy. .Click below to order your copy of Jealousy: Self-Help Guide To Overcome Jealousy. Self-Esteem, Insecurity, Trust and Communication In Relationships: 5 Practical Exercises to Cope With Jealousy
Kindle Book Price: $ 3.99.
Table of Contents:
4 Mayor Causes of Jealousy
Types of Jealousy
Tips in Coping with Jealousy
5 Practical Exercises to overcome Jealousy
Exercises 1: What is the root of your Jealousy?
Exercise 2: – Building Self Esteem
Exercise 3: Developing communication skills
Exercise 4: Developing Self Acceptance
The most effective way to deal with it is to learn the causes of jealousy so you can act on it in the most appropriate manner possible.
Comments about this article
“I am a jealous person to an extreme and it has ruined all of my relationships and i know it but i just cant stop. I don’t know what to do anymore. Help!
“Well I get jealous of other girls calling my husband sexy and him talking to other girls.
I need help to over come this because it is make my marriage fall apart. PLEASE HELP ME”. Sunshine.
I am a really Jealous person and I know its wrong.. I have tried to change it so many times and it only works for about a week or two. Then my jealousy comes back again… I don’t understand why if I know he loves me… he trust me so much. I don’t know what to do, sometimes when we argue he tells me he is tired of me always accusing him of cheating and he is tired of me not trusting him. Maria.