What is Resentment, How it Affects us and Destroy Our Relationship
In life, many times, we feel hurt, annoyance, and shame that might harbor the desire for revenge and build bitterness in yourself. We become plagued with resentment and experience unfair treatment. Nelson Mandela explains it well in just one line.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Nelson Mandela. More Resentment Quotes
It does not harm any other person, and it harms you internally and physically. It is a poison that destroys your mind and body. The bitterness and anger on small matters become more serious issues. Resentful people always hold onto the things that burn them and do not let go of negative thoughts.
In this scenario, you can’t grow in any phase. Well, Just always remember one thing keep grudges lead to deep self-destructive feelings. In our everyday life, we have resentment issues, but we don’t know how it is causing harm to our mind and body. It is more common. In couples and there could be different causes so let’s learn about it.
What are the signs of unforgiveness? . Resentment is a mixture of negative feelings or emotions, so it can appear in different forms. The most common signs of unforgiveness are:
- Recurring or Continual feelings of a strong emotion like anger, thinking about specific interaction, or experience with person or event.
- One sign is to stop thinking about the event that triggers your strong emotions.
- You constantly regret about one mistake
- You have fear or avoidance of conflict
- Your relations are tense with your family and friends
- Feeling of invisible
Resentment feelings more develop when a person realizes that an event was misinterpreted. Moreover, it could be a persistent emotion in which individually hold on to negative feelings or distressing event in which you unable to let go of a desire or revenge. In this scenario, resentment affects mental, physical, and social health.
What is resentment
Resentment feelings is a specific mental condition that may result from the inadequate expression of emotions after a painful experience. In other words, you can say it is bitter indignation when treated unfairly and complex made of disappointment, disgust, anger, and fear. Many psychologists consider this situation a mood that may result in the face insult or injury, for instance, a careless comment by friend or criticism from a boss can integer the grudging feelings in a person.
Many times this expression is applied to a large group of people like racism, and religious persecution develops deep resentment effects. The suffering person feels personally victimized with different feelings, like maybe too angry or ashamed to discuss the resulting emotions. Moreover, it is a combination of bitterness in which sadness, disgust, fear, and injustice emotions included.
How resentment affects us
Holding onto resentment or anger can harm your overall health. It may harm you physically and psychologically. Doctors believe that letting go of negative thoughts heal your mind and body.
On the other side, negative emotions such as contempt, anger, bitterness, all these damages our psychological health. These feelings destroy your mindset and cause everything through spectacles of negativity. Moreover, it decreases your ability to see fruitful opportunities. It causes negative light in ourselves that cause a snowball effect on our lives.
A professor from Concordia University explains the physical effects of resentment. He said resentment and bitterness interfere with the hormonal system of the body and damage the entire body due to extreme stress. The negative emotions reduce immunity and cause illness and disease. Furtherly, it causes heart problems and other metabolic syndromes. You will surprise to know that it also causes social problems such as it destroys your personality and effects on friendship and relationships with your loved ones. Due to it, nobody wants to spend time with you and left you in a feeling of loneliness and emptiness.
Some common causes of resentment in the relationship
To build up an intimate relationship is not uncommon in resentment. It is more complex in the relationship because, in relationships, it relates to the repetition of a painful pattern of unaddressed difficulties. These are some common and unusual causes that take place first in resentment
One-sided relationship: When you take care of your partner and fulfill all their need even before he/she asks for it.
You expect them the same feelings, but you disappointed, and you feel your partner is ignoring your expectations. In the result of the one-sided relationship, resentment develops in a person. The second most common cause of resentment in the relationship is lack of adjustment when your partner ignores the matter and starts complaining about them.
Unfulfilled Desires and expectations: Relationship always starts with beautiful expectations that both are having for each other. When one person feels he or she is not getting enough in the relationship, it makes you disgruntled. Forgiving someone and letting go of negative thoughts can solve resentment issues. But among couples, when you are unable to let go of grudges and not able to support or forgive your partner. It makes things more complex and creates more and more resentment.
Last cause but not least, Appreciation always makes you more devoted to each other. Not appreciating each other’s efforts cause the problems when partner rake granted each other. It accumulates negative emotions, and they do not feel grateful.
How to Overcome Resentment
If you are feeling resentment, just remember a word, let go, which means forgiving. Just make peace with yourself that will work. Things could be solved in the best manner when you talk about your family and friends in a friendly way. Don’t fight with your spouse or loved one so that the resentment issue could be solved. Get Logical with your feelings when you hurt with resentment. Ask yourself what and why I am thinking. Be logical about the problem and get the solution; it will create more space in you and way to solve it.
According to philosophers, there are no good or bad things; it’s your attitude that makes things bad or good. So forgive and forget to make things positive, so keep you away from negative thoughts, and it will make you happier in your life. You can treat yourself with love and stay away from resentment; however, if resentment becomes toxic to the person who harbors it. Well, if you are unable to solve the issue, talk to the therapist that will explore the issues in you that causes resentment and will apply the strategies that will reduce your resentment.
Forgive and Move on
Imagine when you can think about the events in question and feel calm and even indifferent. What a relief! How much more space you’ll have in your mind and life. When you truly forgive and move on you can put the past behind you and get on with life. Download ‘Forgive And Move On’ now and feel better. You can listen on your computer or device or via our free app
Read books that can help you with ideas and techniques to overcome resentment:
This is the best book written by Tanja Pelvic, who is helping the other writers and leaders to write the books. She has taught the 9 steps to heal your resentment. You can get the idea to reboot your marriage. The reader will be able to learn all these nine steps that are very useful for building a strong relationship.
This book tells about the marriage life of the couple and ways to release resentment. The reader of the book will be able to communicate clearly. It helps the couple to rekindle the romance more clearly.
If you are feeling the old memories and want to overcome the painful patterns, then you should read this book because this book will help you to create some time for yourself. The reader will adopt to give some time to their hobbies and forget all worries of their couple’s life.
- Workshops to support life
- Easy step to forget the worries of life
- It is only for young couple
It is one of the best books about the struggle for forgiveness. Many psychologists and authors like to read this book as it can help the people to forgive. Everyone feels some conflicts so there is a need to overcome all types of conflicts which is only possible through forgiveness.
Some people have hard hearts so this book will help them to soften their hearts, the reader of book will be able to learn how to forgive and releases resentments. The writer demonstrates some ways to move beyond the feelings. It will help the people to overcome the anger and need to build a strong relationship. When people will be able to locate the forgiving self then it will bring relief from complexions and hostility.
- Great book.
- It contains useful information for forgiveness
- Spirituality and Forgiveness are connected.
- Easy to read
- Psychoanalysis book
- This book is too much technical
This is a great book written by Molly Nelson who lived in Tucson. She is employed as a social coordinator. She has written this book to overcome past memories by removing and releasing the wounds. She has told some tips to live a happy life.
The reader of the book will be able to read all points easily and he will be able to understand the social factors that are causing the wounds and hurts among the different people. The reader will be happy to read it as it will give the importance of the relationship.
Many people have scars from childhood and they do not forgive other people. This book is a great option for these types of people who want to overcome the bitterness and release the Resentments.
- It is must book for everyone
- This book can help to deal with the unpleasant events of childhood.
- It is a detailed book about forgiveness.
- Expensive Book
This is the best book written by Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt who has written some inspiring stories in this book for forgiveness. This is an ideal book to learn forgiveness. When the reader will read this book he will be able to know the importance of forgiveness. He will be able to build more relationships and forgive their enemies.
The writer has written the stories that tell that people learn from those people who struggle with forgiveness. In this book, the writer tried to give an example of some experiences of other people who were struggling to forgive her captors.
However, it is the best book for all types of people who want to forgive the other people and release the bitterness from their hurt.
- This is a beautiful book
- Expiring book
- Book is written on the facts of life.
- This book has nothing new or interesting
R.T Kendall is one of the best writers who lived in London. He has written many books but this is one of the best books in his career. He has almost written the forty books.
The writer is trying to give the lessons to people to forgive other people. The writer has advised the people to forgive the people completely. In every culture, there is some bitterness and resentment but the people should face all difficulties and bear unwanted things from the other people. If the people are hurtled by someone’s acts then they should take those actions easily and forgive the people. It will help people to build long term relationships among people.
The writer has told in this book some exceptional ideas that will help the readers to forgive the other people.
- Best book to build the relationship
- This book contains the life-changing articles.
- Poorly organized Book.
When you feel resentment toward somebody you feel constantly upset in the presence of that person. It creates uneasiness in relationships. You waist time thinking how to get the revenge and make justice. Because resentment is a negative emotions you feel trap in a circle of negativity and hate that can cause depression.
Why is it so hard to let go of resentment? Resentment as Catherine Ponder said: When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.
How do you release anger and resentment? The first step for managing resentment is to identify the reasons of your resentment. Do you feel resentment toward a person or an event?, What exactly the event or person caused you to feel this resentment?. Star working on your anger by writing a letter with all the details and reasons and then burning it. Work on your Self-esteem to stop looking for other’s approval. Practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice and when you forgive, you free yourself from the event or person. Forgiveness is not about the other , is about you. Engage in an alternative therapy: Emotional Freedom Techniques, or Self-hypnosis Techniques. Think how free will you feel if you let go of the resentment.
Everybody experience resentment especially toward other people, when you feel betrayed or frustrated around an event. Resentment is not going to help. If you can practice forgiveness you will free yourself from the past. The person or event will not change, but you will feel free and ready to move on. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. Keeping resentment and the desire of revenge will take away all your energy. It will make you frustrated and eventually end up with depression. Stop wasting time and energy on anger and resentment. And use that energy to do something for yourself.