What is the number one cause of divorce?. Well, in the official statistics, it’s fighting over money. But the underlying reality is–it is a lack of fun. Remember the old hit song “You Make Loving Fun”? That’s the song that your marriage needs to be about if you want it to last and be fulfilling.
Too many people today treat marriage as a serious business–and okay, it is. But so is playing professional baseball or football–but do you think those athletes are not having lots of fun? In fact, if they don’t have a good time, their performance dwindles, their team loses, and they may eventually be out of a high-paying job.
Before it’s a business, marriage needs to be a joy. How can you keep it that way? How can you keep loving fun? Let’s look at five ways to have fun together.
- Keep dating. Yes, that’s right–stop being mere homebodies when you aren’t working, and go out. Many people date until they get married and then, after the honeymoon is over, they rarely go on dates. This is a terrible mistake. Remember, “familiarity breeds contempt”. When you go on dates, you get to take a break from your home’s familiar surroundings and you explore new possibilities together. Why should that all end with marriage?.
- Sex. Too many people forget that sex is the core of a marriage. It’s true that sex is beyond “fun”, because it is such serious intimacy, but it’s a pure pleasure that married couples need to enjoy a lot of. Vary your sexual experiences together. Some can be “down and dirty”, while others are drawn-out romantic rituals. If you aren’t having sex with your spouse at least once every day/night, consider that you are doing something wrong.
- Laugh a lot together. Hopefully, you married someone who shares a lot of your sense of humor. It could be very problematic if you didn’t! There needs to be a great deal of laughter in a marriage. Watch comedies together. Joke with each other. Tease each other playfully. Find the funny side of everyday predicaments.
- Try new things together. This can be tied in with any of the three things already mentioned, or it can be something else entirely. Share in your spouse’s enthusiasm and daring in wanting to learn a new skill, a new language, etc.
- Laugh and play together. Stop being so serious together all the time! So you are in a serious relationship-so what? You need to have times together when you drive go-karts or try to spray each other with whipped cream. Laughter is infectious for good reason.
- Get together with other people. Too many married couples become insular–they have little life beyond themselves, their work, and their children. Why should your marriage mean that you sacrifice your friends? Keep getting together with your close friends and see if you can meet some new ones together.
Life is stressful and austere. Marriage is a way of making life worth living. Make loving fun, and when the tough times come you will get through them together.