Developing a Positive Self Image – 4 Steps

What is self image

Self-image is a picture of what you think you are, not who you are. Your self-image influences your esteem and is acquired during childhood. It includes personality, abilities, strengths, weakness, and physical appearance. The key to developing a positive self-image is to find out who you are.

The “self image” is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change it and you change the personality and the behavior.
Maxwell Maltz.

Everything you do is influenced by your self-image. Developing a positive self-image will change you for good.

Remember that your self-image comes from your childhood and your parents, friends, family, authority figures and the environment.If you receive messages like you are too fat, you are stupid, and so forth you had incorporated those ideas and had not even questioned them.

For developing a positive self-image, you must start questioning those ideas. The more you concentrate on feeling good inside and building your self-image, the easier it will be for you to accept other people and succeed massively.

I have designed the following diagram to understand the process of how it influences your esteem and confidence. At the top of the picture I am showing three significant issues:

1.Your parents, teachers, and authority figures judged you in some way

2. Your conclusion, You then internalized the judgments, and they turned into a part of how you see yourself.

3. The real you what is the truth about all these conclusions?


Four ways for developing a positive self-image:

  1. Accept yourself. The most important step is to accept who you are right now. Avoiding this step will not let you develop a positive self-image because you will be resisting your reality and you will remain stuck. Learn to love yourself and accept your flaws. This is who you are right now and who do you think you are. And it does not have to remain the same.
  2. Make a list of the negative messages you received in the past. Just start with 4 or 5 ideas. Let say somebody told you that you are stupid. Write it down. Start questioning this statement. Is it true? Who told me this?. What were the circumstances I was going through?. Maybe you were doing something wrong at that time, and they called you stupid. This does not mean that you will remain forever stupid. It was the other person perception and expression of frustration.
  3. Find your strengths. It is important that you start to find the opposite on the list. Free yourself from the resentment and frustration that they called you that way. Find another situation when you found yourself doing something clever. Celebrate the event and start to see yourself smart and clever. Another example. You were told that you were fat. Ok, maybe you are fat but this doesn’t mean that you will remain fat forever. Even if you can’t find a time that you were thin, find a time that you tried to become thin. Congratulate yourself because you tried. In this case, there are three possibilities: you were always fat and because you were told over and over or because of unresolved issues you create that image for you and accept it. The second possibility is that you were fat, you are now, and you are comfortable with it. Just try to question why?. The third one is you were fat. Let’s say during adolescence and because of that; you remain fat because you have accepted it as part of your self-image.
  4. Invest your time with people who compliment you and support you. Stay away from people that put you down and only criticize you.
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Building a positive self-image is an inside job. It requires acceptance, forgiveness and willingness to let go of your past and recognize your strengths and inner beauty. The more you focus on feeling good inside and developing a positive self-image, the easier will be for you to start seen yourself with a different perspective.

Apply this tips at least a few minutes each day, remember that small is better. Step by step you will find that you have begun to develop a positive self-image. Remember also that you will be working on messages that cause you pain. Not everything we were told is negative. Look for the messages that are stopping you from creating a happier and fulfilling life.

The most influential person who will talk to you all day is you, so you should be very careful about what you say to you! — Zig Ziglar.

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