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We are living in a world that’s engrossed with too many standards and judges people with those standards as criteria. That’s a fact. We often confine ourselves with the principles we all grow up with and embrace those new ones along the way. That’s human instinct.
Striving to be accepted by others as well as boosting one’s morale and pride are inherent traits of human beings. This is a truth nobody dares to contradict. The only problem comes in when perfectionism never gets the right results.
Living in this world entails much details and standards to be hailed successful and to be admired by others. Workplaces, relationships, competencies, education, personal assessment of one’s outside appearance and others’ viewpoints. There is precisely no exception. Often, people define their motivation based on what seemed important and relevant in the society. To compare one’s self with the “standard”, whether at home, work, or school, breeds the greatest dissatisfaction one could ever have.
Each one is unique and endowed with various capabilities. No one is the same as another. In the same way, standards set in reference to another may or may not be attained perfectly. Here comes the dilemma. The idea that one is never good enough seeps in when efforts fail and no matter how hard one tries, failures seem to be the only result possible.
A lot of people suffer from this cognitive trap. More often than not, it is the brain which controls the central idea. It’s either too high standards are placed, or one can’t help but belittle his or her achievements, personality, and life. This feeling is disruptive, as it becomes a stumbling stone towards better performance and lessens, if not totally wipes out confidence. Being displeased with one’s self isn’t something helpful.
To feel better about one’s self-needs a paradigm shift. It is alright to look at others or to emulate them, but to do so with self-respect is a must. Even athletes never attain perfection, despite hard work and practice. Admittedly, perfection is non-existent. It is precisely an ideal but is so good to be true.
Acknowledging the fact that perfection isn’t real or to be perfect is way impossible helps. To become the best person one can be isn’t all about perfection it is simply being good, or perhaps, better every day. The quest towards becoming better persons is present, ever motivating in all our endeavors. What matters is being rational, realistic and cognizant of the truth that we can never change everything about ourselves. Moreover, no superhuman can control everything that happens, especially that of other people’s behavior. Not even one.
The solution is something inherent. It starts with the mind and ends with a changed way of living. To scratch off the idea of dependence on other people’s opinions is hard for those who have lived their lives for these, but is a must. Who you are and what you can become are independent thoughts. None else can rob these unless one permits others to steal and ruin the image of his self.
Here is the secret. Nobody’s good enough for anything in the first place. But anyone can shake off the “never good enough” feeling and focus on what must be done. Optimism, self-respect, and determination, nobody ever succeeded at something without these.
If you’d like to come to peace with yourself, you might begin by answering these two simple questions: Who better to love you than you?. What better undertaking could there be than to learn how to happily, compassionately and respectfully love yourself?.
The Feel Good About Yourself CD contains three specially selected hypnosis sessions.