Learn to deal with anger control problems to improve your Self Esteem
Your self esteem is vital to your emotional health, and must be a part of any management program. Lack of self esteem produce self-doubt and feelings of inferiority which makes you angry and hop less .A way to deal with anger problems is called anger management. The goal is to diminishing the angry feelings and the causes of these emotions and therefore increase your self esteem.
When you are angry you feel invaded, betrayed, hopeless. You experience displeasure and antagonism. It can be caused by external events such as a coworker or a canceled appointment. Even by an internal problem or past memory.
I was raised to believe that being angry was bad. I repressed my angry feelings and suffered anger control problems until I finally understood that like all emotions , is not good nor bad.
According to Bradshaw . "Without anger, you have no boundaries". It serves to maintain a decent sense of yourself as an autonomous human being that can say "no" when necessary".
Effective anger management means that you are able to express your emotions positively. Your self esteem raise because you can stand up for yourself and control your emotions. If you have anger problems you may suffer low self-esteem because you might be afraid of rejection. If you cannot express your emotions , you will either repress them or you will get mad to somebody else. Some people try to solve this problem by yelling or hitting things.
Seven steps for Building Self Esteem by anger management
The next time your anger is rising take action to deal with it in a healthy manner and improve your self esteem . Take the following steps:
- Be aware of your feelings .The first step is to recognize your feelings through awareness. You may say: "Yes, I am angry. ". In order to identify the emotion you have to recognize it. Our tendency is to go into denial. Deal with the problem.
- The second step is to take responsibility. Some situations or events may contribute with this angry feelings but you have chosen to feel angry over other emotions. Take responsibility without blaming anyone or any situation when you are you are extremely angry.
- Know the cause is the third step. Think about the real causes . I have learned that sometimes there is an unresolved issue that I am denying. A while ago I felt really angry toward somebody and then I realized that it wasn't t about her questions. The truth is that I was feeling rejected.
That is because is important to ask questions . What am I feeling and why? . Sometimes the emotion and the feelings are not about a present event, it could be possible that the event triggers an unresolved wound from the past.
- Finally , the fourth step: Release the emotion. Solve the internal wound by releasing the issue. If I have to be assertive and tell people how I am feeling , I do it. I always use "I" instead of "you". " I am ... ". If there is an underlying issue hiding, I solve it by asking questions.
Write down your thoughts and emotions, is the best way to clarify them. Use any releasing technique you like. You can even implement a visualization technique , Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) , or any other technique that suit you the best to release them. You can also try hypnosis to stop feeling angry to restore your self esteem .Yelling and hitting things, and running 10 miles won't help .
- Sign up for Anger Class.
An effective, convenient and affordable way of learning how to better manage and control anger that can have lasting and damaging effects on relationships.
This online class is based on an educational and cognitive-behavioral approach developed by licensed psychotherapists and experts. It is based on our acclaimed Anger Management for the Twenty-First Century
- Practice relaxation techniques. Our thoughts determine our feelings and to improve our self esteem we have to alter how we feel about ourselves .Sit comfortable, close your eyes and breathe deeply, from your diaphragm. Inhale and when you exhale say the word: calm. Repeat it for 7 times.
Practice this relaxation technique several times during the day , as needed.
Also try: Relax anytime, any place with the 7-11 Breathing Exercises. You can use this technique to fall asleep at night, to get more focus when you are working, or in any stressful situation. Once you have been using 7-11 breathing for a while you will react to stress by doing your 'relaxation breathing'. And you will find you just don't get as stressed any more.
- Start building self esteem. Try Building your self esteem now download. When you suffer low esteem you repress your emotions because you don't know how to deal with them. You blame yourself for things that aren't your fault; you underestimate your abilities, and you expect things to go wrong for you.
Also, practice Assertiveness , it is the best way to learn to express your feelings and will help you to restore your self esteem. Lack of assertiveness can cause problems in all sorts of situations. Assertiveness training is an original '4 step' assertiveness techniques. After using this technique for a while you will be treated with more respect and you improve your esteem and have more confidence.
Anger management provides opportunities for building your esteem and confidence. By embracing and transforming these feelings and working with the underlying issues or your difficulties to assert yourself, you are creating a better life and of course better relationships. You stop ruining your relationships , damaging your health and you begin to create beneficial outcomes.
The Healing Power of Anger: The Unexpected Path to Love and Fulfillment. Read my review
Anger Management Subliminal CD Learn how to control your thoughts and emotions.
Where to go from here