Emotional freedom definition | Feelings and emotions

Learn to deal with anger control problems

by Carla Valencia

A way to deal with anger control problems is called anger management. The goal is to control rage by diminishing the feelings and the causes.

When you feel angry you feel invaded, betrayed, hopeless. You feel displeasure and antagonism. It can be caused by external events such as a coworker or a canceled appointment. Even by an internal problem or past memory.

I was raised to believe being angry was bad. I repressed it all my life and suffered anger control problems until I finally understood that like all emotions , is not good nor bad.

According to Bradshaw . "Without anger, you have no boundaries". It serves to maintain a decent sense of your self as an autonomous human being that can say "no" when necessary".

Effective anger management means that you are able to express your emotions in a positive way. Your self esteem raise because you can stand up for yourself and control your emotions.

If you have anger control problems you may be afraid of rejection. If you cannot express your emotions , you will either repress them or you will get mad to somebody else. Some people try to solve anger control problems by yelling or hitting things.

Four steps for anger control problems

The next time you rage is rising take action to deal with it in a healthy manner and improve your self esteem . Take the following steps:

1. Be aware.The first step is to recognize your feelings through awareness. You may say: "Yes, I am angry. ". In order to identify the emotion you have to recognize it. Our tendency is to go into denial. Deal with the problem.

2. The second step is to take responsibility. Some people or situation may contribute with this feeling but you have chosen it over other emotions. Take responsability without blaming anyone or any situation.
3. Know the cause is the third step. Think about the real causes . I have learned that sometimes there is an unresolved issue that I am denying. A while ago I felt rage toward somebody and then I realized that it wasn't t about her questions. The truth is that I was feeling rejected. That is because is important to ask questions. What am I feeling and why? . Sometimes the emotion is not about a present even, it could be possible that the event triggers an unresolved wound from the past.


4. Finally , the fourth step: Release the negative emotion. Solve the internal wound by releasing the issue. If I have to be assertive and tell the other person I do it. I always use "I" instead of "you". " I am ... ". If there is an underlying issue hiding, I solve it by asking questions. Write down your thoughts and emotions is the best way to clarify them. Use any releasing technique you like. You can even implement visualizations, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) , or any other that suit you the best. Yelling and hitting things, and running 10 miles won't help me.

Conclusion

Anger management provides opportunities overcome anger control problems and improve your self esteem . By embracing and transforming it and working with the underlying issues or your difficulties to assert yourself, you are creating a better life. You stop ruining your relationships , damaging your health and create beneficial outcomes.

The Healing Power of Anger: The Unexpected Path to Love and Fulfillment is an excellent book that helps to transform your life. Through exercises, a lot of examples and his technique of "Stop", "Drop", and "Roll", he show the reader how to take steps through an angry episode . This is an excellent and easy to use technique to transform your problems and emotions constructively.

ANGER CONTROL Learn how to control your thoughts and emotions in a positive manner. Enhance your relationships and have peace of mind. Remain calm and in total control of problems and situations.

Check the books below to find more help. Visit the bookstore to find books to inspire you.