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The personality and behavior that is expressed both in groups and with itself are a reflection of mental processes. When there is a dysfunction in social interactions they are not always a cause of you, but what you should evaluate is if this is really a repetitive pattern, a situation that you relive again and again with your different interactions, if that is the case, you need to know that you have a problem and for your emotional and social well-being you should treat it.
It is not that your environment hates you, what happens is that in different ways you create situations in which you affect and hurt others, this you do continuously, in most cases there is no clear intention to cause discomfort or harm in those who consider your acts, but it is what you achieve, and this has as a final result that people move away and have a terrible concept of you.
1. Pushing people away
Away from people is usually habitual behavior, it is an avoidance behavior, but it reflects the opposite, it does not do so because of the desire to be alone or not to value the company, it does so because of a fear of rejection, not to be good enough, obviously to be able to drive people away, they must resort to behaviors that are not pleasant or friendly, such as being rude or merely showing a profound disinterest for other people.
2. Being defensive
It is very common that you show a very low tolerance for criticism, judgment, and comments of the people around you, since you perceive them as threatening and aggressive, but this is a product of the frustration and insecurity that you carry on your shoulders, obviously it is normal bumping into one or another bad intention, but this is not what happens every day, the criticisms and comments from your friends and family are far from being a criticism with the intention of damaging you, therefore reacting badly to them, acting an aggressive and challenging way is a sure step to get them away from you and not consider you a good person. (1)
3. Too needy
Although deep down what you crave is love, company, and happiness, this need reflected in the form of dependence is not healthy, you may think that your partner, friends or family should be there for you. Affects represents the support system of the people, but they are not their base, so demanding the company and attention permanently and completely, it is very overwhelming for the other person, it ended up feeling suffocated and logically by instinct will seek to get away from you. (2)
It goes hand in hand with being on the defensive, an explosive person only transmits fear and insecurity to others, it is not easy to consider having a partner, friend or family member who is used to having explosive reactions for things that do not justify it. Overreaction can lead you to episodes of violence resulting from impulse; you can hurt innocent people or even yourself, this factor moves people away from you immediately.
5 Reasons why a person may feel this way
- Being bullied in the past or the present
People who have a history of abuse in their lives, whether on the school or by their parents, family members or caregivers, are very likely to develop this type of self-destructive behavior, trying to convey an image of hardness and violence, so as not to be vulnerable and not be hurt.
- Abusive relationships
The history of abusive relationships reaffirms a distortion in the perception of what relationships and affection should be, so they link affection with dependence, control, and power.
- Low self-esteem
The background of this type of behavior is low self-esteem, insecurity and little value about himself; these are feelings that arise from unresolved problems of the past and alter the ability to relate to himself and the environment.
Anxiety is a mental disorder, for which there is treatment, in most cases, people take years to recognize it and go to the doctor, these types of disorders can arise due to multiple etiologies, but childhood and genetics play a role fundamentally. (3)
It is a disease, which can occur with symptoms such as avoidance behavior, irritability among others, is a pathology of pharmacological treatment, so recognizing it is important to avoid more mental damage and social interactions.
Coping with these feelings
- Figure out the main reason for your feelings
It is important to recognize your actions and emotions, that allows you to know if they are related to your current situation or if you do not understand why you are acting in that way, discovering the origin of your behavior is not your job, that if it is your responsibility is to recognize your problem, take care of it.
- If you are bullied or you were bullied in the past
Many times the experiences of harassment mark both the people who are directly responsible for this type of behavior, if this is your case and you are sure that the episodes of harassment are the cause, you have most of the problem won, you just have to use the tools to get out of it.
- If you are in an abusive relationship
Relationship abuse significantly affects close relationships; especially if the violence crosses the physical barrier, you should know that you cannot go from victim to victimizer, you must break with that circle, and embark on a path of healing and proper relationships with you and others.
- If you suffer from anxiety
Anxiety is poorly understood by others, only those who suffer from it are known precisely, but it is something fully treatable, an emotional, physical and social self-destructive behavior is not the solution, you must clarify your thoughts and emotions, and if it is anxiety the responsible, you must treat her.
People do not hate you, they hate your behavior with them and that is a direct response to your internal problems, which has already mentioned can have many origins, from history of harassment to depression, the mind of the human being is skilled, and always instinctive avoid pain and suffering, ironically this behavior far from avoiding painful situations brings you closer to them, since it is an inappropriate way to use your defense and coping mechanisms.
You are not crazy; various causes can be behind all this, identify them and treat them with psychotherapy and medications (if this is the case) will allow you to live a fuller and happier life.