Overcoming Perfectionism

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is

  • When no effort is ever good enough.
  • When you become fearful of making mistakes or of being humiliated.
  • Everything must be perfect.
  • When you never seem to have enough time to do your best.
  • When you demand perfection and intolerant of others’ mistakes.

 

Four reasons for being perfectionist

In our society, perfectionism is often seen as desirable. Even essential for success. But, studies show that perfectionism intervene with success. Are you a perfectionist?. What are the reasons?.

Perfectionism is one of the most common symptoms of low self-esteem. Some of the reasons are listed below.

  1. Fear of failure is among of the reasons for perfectionism. Often, perfectionists blame their failures on lack of personal worth.
  2. Another reason is being afraid to make mistakes. For perfectionists, mistakes and failure are the same. They miss opportunities to learn and grow by living their lives avoiding mistakes.
  3. Fear of rejection is a one of the most common reasons. Perfectionists are often afraid that if other people will see their flaws, they will be rejected.
  4. Rigid Rules. Perfectionists live with rigid rules structured by a never-ending list of “should”.

Being a perfectionist, you probably learned early in your life that:

  • Others only value you because of the things you can do and have accomplished.
  • Your self esteem might have been based primarily on external standards. This leaves you defenseless and extremely sensitive to other people’s opinion and criticism.
  • You probably decided that being perfect is your only defense from such criticism.

Overcoming perfectionism – learn from my experience

I came from perfectionists parents. My father was a successful Engineering and Scientific. He always said that if I don’t do it right, I should not do it.

He constantly sent the message that I should be more successful than him. That was one of the reasons why I lived paralyzed for a long time. On the other hand, my mother always finds faults and told me how to do it right. She projected her flaws onto me because of her low self esteem.

When I showed her the flaws with my actions, she came to the rescue by telling me how to fix them. Overcoming perfectionism wasn’t easy, but here are some tips I used:

  1. Tip #1: making a Cost-Benefit Analysis. Make a list of all the things how being a perfectionist is hurting you and those around you. You will be more motivated to shed those tendencies.
  2. Tip # 2: See the positive. If you find something that you do not like about yourself or your work, look for five other qualities that you like. This will balance out your critical focus and may start a positive attitude.[1]

In conclusion. You must learn to handle criticism. This one of the most important reasons because it causes you to feel extremely sensitive to other people’s opinion. And feed all the reasons explained above.

Even if the criticism you are receiving is harsh, it is okay to remind ourselves that making mistakes is a great way to learn. Try this Self-hypnosis techniques downloads for overcoming this tendency:

  1. Are you a perfectionist? Overcoming perfectionism and enjoying relaxing a whole lot more.
  2. Overcome fear of rejection.
  3. Overcome fear of failure.

References:

1 . ABC4.com. Striving For Perfection Will NOT Make You Happy. Retrieved July 2010, from http://www.abc4.com/content/about_4/gtu/story/Striving-For-Perfection-Will-NOT-Make-You-Happy/7OmzeyBoJUWtsMG6tzdbVA.cspx.

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