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Low self esteem Signs | Codependency symptoms | Managing emotions | Feelings and emotions
Self esteem and guilt
by Carla Valencia
Self esteem and guilt are related because guilt is a symptom of low self esteem that will now allow you to feel good about yourself. It is a feeling of culpability , from a sense of inadequacy or for imagined offenses. When feeling guilty is persistent is called toxic.
I had spent most of my life taking care of other's people needs and I have forgotten mine. For many years I played the role of a "good child", sometimes is called : "Responsible Child" - "Family Hero". I realized that in doing so every time I have succeeded I felt guilty, I had left (in my own thinking) my family behind.
What was my thinking? Those members of my family had to succeed and I had to help them in doing so. Therefore, if I succeed I was in a way betraying them . I was feeling guilty and selfish.
People with low self esteem experience guilt because they feel bad about themselves. That was the difficulty running my life. I have to feel bad about myself until they feel good about themselves.
A Checklist
I feel guilty when I :
- eat
- overeat
- eat "bad" foods.
- am overweight.
- say "no."
- am angry.
- stand up for myself.
- go first.
- disagree with my parents (whether alive or dead).
- am thin.
- get attention.
- take time for myself.
- am loved.
- am needy.
- ask for help.
- spend time with friends.
- am not being productive.
- don't live up to my parent's expectations.
- don't do housework.
- spend money on myself.
- do what I want.
- am not perfect.
- am happy.
- exist.
Feeling guilt don't help to have a good self esteem. Honoring yourself and honoring your needs is the answer. Read the article Let go of guilt and stop feeling guilty all the time.
