Step 8. Stop Putting Yourself Down
Sometimes, your worst enemy is yourself. When you do something stupid, and you can’t forgive yourself, you can’t stop putting yourself down. This is not the way you should act when you commit a mistake. What you need to do is to stop putting yourself down. If you are putting yourself down because of a mistake, you made, stop and think about the good things that came out of this error. It may be difficult at first, but keep doing it and you will surely find a lot of positive things.
Some of the positive things that you could think of when you made a mistake are:
- I learned something new because of this error.
- I have gained a new skill.
- If that situation happens again, I will know how to handle it.
- I learned more about myself.
There are many more positive things that you could think of. Instead of putting yourself down, focus on the positive outcomes of that situation. Make sure to write down everything positive you can think of. Writing can help you feel better because you are releasing your feelings by writing about them. Also, writing will help you remember what you have learned. Even the worst events can turn out to be positive turning points in your life. Sometimes you might realize that you wouldn’t be in this wonderful place if that horrible thing didn’t happen. You may also realize that you became a wiser and stronger person because you have gone through it.
You should also remember that you are a human being and that it is normal to make mistakes. You should not put yourself down for making mistakes because that’s a part of life. You learn new things by making mistakes.
So stop being depressed and just enjoy the learning process. However, be aware of what you say to yourself when you’re learning new things. Avoid telling yourself that you’re “too clumsy” or “too slow” because that is also a way of putting yourself down. Instead, say something like, “I’m getting fast at learning this” or “I’ve improved a lot since I first started.”
You should react positively no matter what happens. Remind yourself that you did your best in that situation and you learned something from that situation that will help you in the future. Telling yourself that you did your best will help you forgive yourself.
Also, you must not let your regrets stop you from moving forward in your life. Putting yourself down will not help you move on with your life. It is normal to replay an event over and over in your mind. Your brain is just trying to figure out what went wrong and why it happened.
You must force yourself to stop replaying a horrible event in your mind or else you will not be able to move on. That event is in the past, and you can’t do anything about it. So just forgive yourself, be happy, and move on with your life. Stop putting yourself down.
Step 9: Saying “Sorry” Too Much Lowers Your Self-Esteem
There is nothing wrong about saying “Sorry” when you have made a mistake or when you are apologizing to someone. However, saying “sorry” too much lowers your self-esteem. According to psychologists, over-apologizing stems from critical and demanding parents during childhood. To manage the stressful situations they face at home, children frequently resort to apologizing to calm down a family member and to avoid conflict. Saying “sorry” too much lowers your self-esteem, so it is best to break this habit and learn to communicate your feelings more effectively. How you can break your habit of saying “Sorry” too much.?
- Realize Your Value. To stop over-apologizing, you must recognize your value and the importance of your life. If you are always apologizing, you are focusing on the negative aspects of your life. It means that you are always seeking approval for the way you live your life. Learn to love who you are despite your imperfections. Don’t devalue yourself because you are not perfect.
- Listen To Yourself. Learn to listen to yourself when you’re over-apologizing. Recognize your feelings and emotions when you’re giving an apology. Stop apologizing when you realize that you’re apologizing to avoid conflict with someone, to please someone, or to remove yourself from negative attention. Apologizing for these reasons sends a message to everyone that you’re not “good enough”.
- Take A Break, If you got into a conflict or a messy situation because of a miscommunication, don’t apologize right away. Take a break, relax, and give yourself time to think. Sometimes, it is not your fault that you got into that situation. Think before you decide to apologize. Approach the situation from a different point of view, think of a solution, and just forget about it. You don’t always have to take the blame for everything that happened. Take a break instead.
- Stop The Habit. Stop the habit of saying “sorry” all the time when you are in a conflict or when you’re getting negative attention. If you’re apologizing all the time, then people won’t know if you’re sorry or if you’re just saying it to avoid a conflict. Make your apologies authentic by only saying “sorry” when you mean it. You should stop lowering your self-esteem and limit your confidence. If you don’t blame yourself all the time, you can start living happily. Only apologize when you know it is your fault.
Remember to think about the situation carefully to make sure that it is your fault and that you have to say sorry. If it is your fault, just apologize. There is no need to beat yourself up and get depressed over it. Remember that life is a learning experience and that you became a better and wiser person because of the mistakes you made in the past. Stop dwelling on your past mistakes and live your life confidently. Once you learn to love yourself, you will cure your habit of saying “sorry” too much.
Download now: Apologize Less
Step 10: Common Mistakes – The First thing to do
- Don’t dwell on self-pity
- Stop victim mentality
- Do not try doing all at once
The First thing to do
The first thing to do is to become aware where you are now and make a plan to start feeling good about yourself. Making a plan and following through will build your self-respect.
I will give you an example. I believe the first step to take is the first one I have mentioned before: “Take care of your body.” Illness can have a devastating impact on your good being. Illness can wipe out self-confidence and create feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, anxiety, and fear.
My Goal to feel good about myself
Date: February 24th, 2012
I will start my goal by March 1st, 2012
My goals are: Start and exercise program three times a week
Obstacles: Laziness, tiredness, negative thinking
|Avoid Self-sabotage by reading every day: “Improved self-esteem is a key psychological benefit of regular physical activity. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins trigger a positive feeling “.|
|Plan of actions: Research gyms, find friend, go shopping, set budget||Tools I need: Working with a friend, buying clothe, set budget for gym
The 9 : How To Feel Good About Yourself
- Take care of your body and mind
- Wear clothes to help you feel good
- Develop Positive Thinking
- Do not compare yourself to others
- Accept yourself
- Accept compliments
- Identify positive qualities
- Stop putting yourself down
- Stop saying sorry too much
Developing the 9 steps will translate into:
- I feel energetic and positive
- I like the way I look
- I can do it
- I am unique
- I am worthy
- I am proud
- I am confident
- I am good enough
- I have value
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